Ocean waves
purge my pain,
cleanse me
of your touch,
where we have lain,
propel me
shocked
to a sea of fish;
locked fingers and mind
once entwined
now mocked
by faded wish.
Author notes
Enjoy !
What did you think
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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Great write Tony!
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sad though but love it!! amazing ,huh...full of emotion...
smile
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Aw i know how you feel...
I have the exact same problem... ive written many poems about it. it hurts so bad i know... your so emotional its sad... -
wow, i love this. its full of such emotion. with so little words, you deffinately got your point acrossed. fabulous job you did! i love every line of it. i'm sorry to hear of your loss by the way, but keep your head up and continue to keep writing! it is a good venting strategy! again, well done!
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i like this poem its really good keep writing
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I hate that phrase, "there's plenty more fish in the sea." Especially when someone says it after a breakup. Anyway... I like the way you wove it into this poem. And the scheme is very interesting. It has an interesting rhythm to it.
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The imagery put me in the place of the Plath poem whereby the speaker walks into the sea and commits suicide. The poem is titled "Suicide off Egg Rock" and is well worth reading.
Back to your poem. I like the rhyme scheme, it seems to fade like the wish of the last line of the poem. One really gets a sense of the emotion of the speaker so kudos on the lucidity. Nice poem. -
i like the format, the smoothness, and the fact that the ocean has such powers to do that... just something about its strength. nicely done.
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Poet
Slick and finely written. Perfect rhyme that makes the reading simple. Are we all just fish waiting to be hooked?
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You wrote this with a poignant pen ...
What can I say? I want to sooth you, but the words I have do not match the raw sorrow of this write.
All I can say is: I love you for who you are and for the friendship you had shown me by giving me Gold membership. Thank you so much. As a token of gratitude, I shall publish three poems of yours, selected from this page. If you have any restrictions or negativities about that, please let me know.
Love to you, Tony.
Myra
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Vanity of vanities. We are all so mocked. What's the point in trying to convince people we are not. Is that not what we spend our lives trying to accomplish? Best Wishes.
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I like this!
This says it all about what love can do for us, both when it is good and when it has disipated into shattered dreams. Great Write
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Beautifully bittersweet and amazing
I love the emotion in this
Lynda
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I liked the imagery you outlined in this. You presented a poem that I enjoyed for its expressive feeling. THANKS!
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You took a very focused memory about a break up and turned it into a poem the reflect the emotion without being blunt.
I like stuff like this its easy to apply and reflect my own memories.
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Wow. I love the play on the image plenty of fish in the sea where you feel propelled, it's the strongest thing about this poem but really, really a lot of feeling in this.
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Simple yet meaningful
love the way you use nature(mother earth) as a healing form....
great write
Fouzia,
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Well expressed - seeking solace in the mother of all, the ocean, seems to be a timeless human trait.
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I unfourtunately or fourtunately cannot identify with your words, but I find them wonderful and a pleasure to read all the same. I like the idea of cleansing waves and that your wishes are mocked and scorned. I mean I don't like that bit but as a poem it's very well done. I'm rambling again. Another enjoyable poem
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what an impact you have made with words..... this is sad yet exquisite beauty
keep smiling
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I hope you find that mermaid someday, so to speak
Anna Lee
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Hallo Tony
I can relate to your words, expressed so intensely in this poem. Remember, one can never lose a deep love. It stays part of the soul forever.
Love
Myra
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short but incredible impact. Its brilliant
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very simple but with a huge impact! Very good poem. I really enjoyed reading this. Very well written and flowed well. You can invision the souls laying there together, but in ways not together. Thanks so much for sharing this!
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i love it
i love the romantic message
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a little can say alot. great write.
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this had a simplicity to it that was endearing...sometimes it isn't how much you say it is how you say it...this piece is a perfect example of that. great job poet. thank you for sharing. keep upi the awesome work. peace an dlight always in all ways, kp
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wow. lots of emotion and feeling put into one small poem. i LOVE it..
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well done
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Superb
A very fine write, indeed. You expressed your thoughts quite clearly. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, well done.
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good work
it's a nice poem.you surely have put a lot of thought into it because the imagery is so good,so i think you should extend it a bit,or otherwise,it's your wish!good work still!
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okay normally I would comment as I read but since this is so short i will go ahead and read first then cooment...
hmm..... For such a short poem you really invoke a lot of thought. I am thinking many diffrent things as I read this. First thing that comes to mind is a ocean at night the water black and heartless, and then I think of how soothing the waves sound and how great the cold, cold water can feel. Great job -
awww, this is sad and powerful. great write, and good to see a poem from you
Stephanie ♥
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