There she is,
Look at her smile.
She is happy,
She she has to be,
She smiled remeber.
There she goes.
Off to her happy life.
Her perfect family.
It's ok,
Her father didn't mean it.
He didn't mean to yell.
She tripped,
He didn't push her against the wall.
He didn't scare her.
He didn't yell.
There she is.
Look at her laugh
She must laugh a lot.
She isn't afraid of the silence.
She isn't afraid to think about life.
She has no problems
They don't haunt her.
There she goes
Away to her room
She must love music
She plays it real loud.
She doesn't hurt herself.
Those are paper cuts.
There must be.
She is happy.
There she is
Why isn't she smiling?
She didn't kill herself.
She's just sleeping,
That's not a real gun.
That's not real blood.
There she goes....
......
......
......
One last time.
Author notes
Dedicated to Maddie my bestriend forever....i am so sorry babe we all sore you were in pain but pretended it wasnt happening i will blam muself for the rest of eternity for what happened to you. I hope you are safe and happy.
RIP Maddie.
Propt for contest was Mental health: Depression - teens
A contest entry
- OPTIONS!! OPTIONS!! by SecretPsychology.
900 points, ended June 8, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites Preretites Prewrites! by pain is love..
560 points, ended June 13, 72 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options; lots of by Girl With Guitar.
600 points, ended July 18, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites by Ami.
550 points, ended July 12, 124 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Constructive criticism please and thank you
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
wow I can tell this is personal sorry this happened to your friend I feel like I'm just gonna end up killing myself a lot of times but I know it would hurt others so I act like I'm happy around my friends... this is a really great write sad but the way it was written was amazing
Thank you so much for entering my contest
And good luck!
-♥Amy♥ -
In places you've used punctuation where you don't need to and in other places where you should use a comma or full stop, you haven't.
I like the almost sarcastic tone of this, although I understand it's more of a "tell me it isn't true" tone.
Some great lines throughout.
Also, if God practices forgiveness, so should you. Too often, there's just nothing we can do. There isn't any point in running yourself to the ground in grief over another life. It isn't worth your life, you should instead live with her memory and carry her memory on.
Thanks for the entry. -
Nice poem. Sad but nice
I loved the lines
There she is.
Look at her laugh
She must laugh a lot.
She isn't afraid of the silence.
She isn't afraid to think about life.
She has no problems
They don't haunt her.
Thank your for your amazing pice and your entry! -
This was such a sad write.. my friend killed himself and i guess i am in the same situation as you.. although i did speak to him about his problems but i didn't keep trying to get him to open-up.. but it is not your fault.. it is her families, her fathers.
my friends death is due to his bullies.. those who had him terrified. That and cocaine killed him.
I tried to get him to open-up, i wish i had tried harder but he's in a better place were he can no longer be hurt.
as is your dear friend Maddie
R.I.P MAddie and my dear Sean-Paul
love you and i wish you well,
lisa..xx
-
i don't understand how this poem relates to picture 14. Please clarify and get back to me.
-
-
When i saw the picture the look in the girls eye reminded me of the way Maddy use to look before she took her own life maybe you and I see the picture differently but when i see the piture i see a girl trying to hide something and that is hurting i dunno how you se it but ya!
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
