What amateurs come out at night.
How creatures, to divert their foes,
Beneath the glowing moon's spot-light,
Engage in nature's burlesque shows.
And in the face of tragedy,
In this carnivorous revue,
Protect themselves with mimicry,
Are seen to vanish right on cue.
Perform their tragic-comic bits,
Or playing possum, feign their dead,
Enact their skittish little skits,
Inspired by awesome fear and dread.
And when the winter winds advance,
The colder that the woodland gets,
How flying squirrels all take a chance-
Performing without safety nets,
They tight rope walk across the wire
And go way out upon a limb.
And when the days grow dark and dire
And their supplies are getting slim,
How they perform spry leaps and springs,
While rabbits quickly change their look,
Inspired by what waits in the wings-
The shadow with the reaper's hook!
A contest entry
- Anything and everything by Minstrel-Morose.
1200 points, ended June 28, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Power and Grace. by ResplendentCloud.
1200 points, ended June 26, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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I like the story you are portraying, but I feel that you could make the words flow more. As I read it, it sounds a bit choppy to me. I love the last four lines, though, they are charmingly demonic (:
Improvements:
I would seperate the first stanza in half, and get rid of the 'and' on line five.
line ten seems extremely awkward to me
I would get rid of the "And" on line 20, since it seems a bit unsteady with and beginning both line 19 and 20.
All in all, I see a great potential in you and this peice. I wish you well in my contest ( -
Very vivid write. I love Nature writes and this is I did enjoy.
Lady Dragonwyck
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Wonderful write. Your imagery, as stunning as ever in this piece. Good luck.
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