Your beauty drugs me and I stagger stupidly
into the room, sit where I can watch you
wondering if you even recognize my face
Desperate for you to notice me,
I perform foolish antics that
cause your beautiful eyes to roll
as I wonder—does she even know my name?
My head fills with romantic dreams
inspired by old black and white movies—
We meet under the clock at Pennsylvania Station
and fall desperately in love…
I am so utterly drunk on thoughts of you
That I barely see you sashay past,
pulling on the fingers of your glove
peeling it off just in time to
let it drop at my feet.
Author notes
Based on photo prompts:
Girl:http://furtivelungs.deviantart.com/art/All-In-My-Hands-124576727
Guy:http://jaymyccah.deviantart.com/art/Brodie-shaw-111929831
B e l l a D
A contest entry
- Round 2! (invite only) by pinksnowboots.
950 points, ended September 2, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments and constructive criticism welcome.
Comments
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wow...what an ending!i love the last two last two stanzas...the words are so beautifully expressed..and I don't know..but I love the feeling I got from this..the hopelessness..the heartbreak..the betrayal..I don't know..but there's so much in this poem..it takes the readers to another place..very nicely written! suggestion..ever though of making the background white on black?..it'll go nicely with the title ^_^
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Oh wow. This is amazing! There is only one thing I would change about this-the repetition of "does she know my name" at the end of the first and second stanzas. I would suggest changing one of them to "recognize my face" instead of "know my name" or something else to that effect. Thanks for entering because I LOVED it!!
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Thank you for the very kind comments and for the applause.
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Girl: http://furtivelungs.deviantart.com/art/All-In-My-Hands-124576727
Guy: http://jaymyccah.deviantart.com/art/Brodie-shaw-111929831
If you'd prefer a guy/guy or girl/girl couple just tell me!
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