we are catching rays of yellow in our mouths and the
sky is falling in little bits and pieces beneath us.
i made the mistake of stretching out my palms to touch the
empty spaces made by our shadows and i cut
myself on the air.
she spins, silent and willing around me, i am wanting,
i am freedom, i am independence.
why is the silence always so loud?
my feet hang over the edge, i brush away the clouds and
lower myself to you.
the level above me is shaking and you keep walking away,
i can't hold onto this.
she moves in slow motion and i catch her breath in my teeth.
he sparks like electricity between us and i
fold over and try to grab her wrist
but she jumps and is
gone.
[vx1]
we are holding misery in our palms and laughing at the burnt grass,
the broken home, the silent eyes.
he speaks and i fall,
she spins again and creates a wake in her turbine,
i watch, and i breathe for fear of anything else.
(your name will never pass my lips again.)
[vx2]
i wake and shift the dust out of my eyes,
i've been asleep too long,
and i've lost you.
Author notes
prompt: Anything can be your inspiration as-long as you use the words; electricity, turbine, yellow.
i may edit this, if allowed.
i'm not sure if the third part is really necessary, or if i should just take it off.
it feels too choppy to me. but maybe that's just how i feel lately.
also, i'm not too sure if i like the way i used turbine. hm.
i am over-tired and haven't written in months, but those are just stupid excuses.
thank you for making me wake up.
A contest entry
- set free; invite only. by forbidden-colour.
800 points, ended July 8, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
get over it
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Congrats on silver. But, my previous comments still hold true. This is stunning and in reading it again, I am still in awe.
Garrison -
my goodness girley i have not commented on your lovely work in AGES! this is truely a good one and i guess you could edit it but i mean its pretty damn good the way it is ! hm although maybe you are right about the third part it might be cut out or possibly shortened? i ono either way im sure you are gonna win keep it up my dear!
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This is stunning. Gut-punched breathless is how I feel after reading this. Gold here . . . I can't imagine it any other way! This smells like talent and tastes like perfection.
Excellent.
Garrison
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Thank you for entering, Tinkerbell-or-me!
Becca, It is an honour to have you enter my contest! It has been a while since I have read your work but I admit - I have been the one missing out!
I loved these lines in particular;
"vx1]
we are holding misery in our palms and laughing at the burnt grass,
the broken home, the silent eyes.
he speaks and i fall, "
There is something there that just clicks with me instantly from the very second of laying my eyes over it.
Finalist sweety!
Regards
Sophia
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amazing*
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=*( ahhh how beautiful...
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