The Bible (Revised)

In the beggining there was
NOTHING!!
Then,
THERE WAS MORE NOTHING!!!
and then from the ashes of nothingness was born..
(which doesn't really make sense because nothingness is nothing, including ashes;
Anyway, we'll say that from nothing there was born ashes and then from ashes there was born )
[Pikachu?] [Shut up]
THE ONE FORK TO RULE THEM ALL!!!

Put on your sock,
And grow a cloak.
Pick up your sword and sprout a beard!

That's the last time someone calls me bald again.

How long was that orange sitting in your closset?

Nevermind,

It's up to you.
The one fork must be cast in to the fires
of mount Killamenjaro.
(You'll find it in France...)
But that cant be right, cause
the french never win!
I guess its up to Soviet Russia instead.

UNLEASH DE WEPON!!

Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
*fizzle
"wait what? how did that not work?"
"Oh no, it worked...  See?  It killed the Director."
[Wait?  You killed the Director?  How the hell are we supposed to find the fork without A Script??]
[Ummmm...]
[Great, you didn't even have a plan]
[Just a minute, I'll think of something.]


And So in the time of darkness,
The world saw just how dark the dark black of the dark night could be.
With the world plunged into this terrible inky black dark darkness,
Everything was SO dark and So black,
[Man you are so racist][God Damnit, stop interupting!]
People couldn't even see.

And then...
Out of the dark black darkness came,
A savior arose.

"Fear not." (said He)
"I shall lead you in your quest for the mythic Fork."
The 2001 a space odyssy theme played.
And everyone knew it would be okay.

So Eragorn needs a lightsaber,
Smeagle loves a wolf.
Gandolf is now 21,
And who the hell brought the cow eggs?!

Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!

There's only one way to halt this madness...
THE CHAINSAW OF TRUTH!!


















































[...Lame...][Hey man, no one asked you.]