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Peace of Soul

Those words not shared in life,
    Haunt now quiet moments
Every whisper of the wind,
    Resembling a familiar voice
Searching for her distinct spirit
    Wishing for peace of soul
Leaving but an emotional abyss,
      Her time here cut too short
All the words she never heard,
    Believe she’ll always know
How would any good mother,
      Not heed her daughter’s heart?

Author notes

someone i work with recently lost their mother, and this came into my head. i think it needs something, i'm just not sure what. i saw a contest that will give honest opinions and i need that so here it is.

do you feel the hurt?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • The.poet.of.hearts
    September 28

    Edit | Reply
    humnz.. nice one
    you are being psychologist in it
    well penned and tell me how old are you?
    this a senior work


  • condor gold member
    June 27
    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful piece indeed. You wrote just that many many people will know this feeling. I know that feeling from losing my father. it haunts me to this day that i wasn't able to say goodbye. I love the piece and wish you the very best in the contest. I know i read this before but couldn't help myself.

  • yes, the hurt is felt. actually makes me miss my mom. we both live in different states and dont see each other that often, and we used to have a terrible relationship. I have no words of critique.


  • condor gold member
    June 5
    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful. I see a wonderful piece here telling of the loss of a mother but also telling that the mother never heeded the daughters words. Perhaps they did not share too many good moments together and regret by both stands. I thought this little piece was just delightful. I wish you the best in the contest.