Dear Asphyxiation and Copper Serpents

 

Dear asphyxia girl,

You're floating in the middle of the lake crosslegged, and everything's trying to get you.  The thunder is reaching elastic ribs for you  but you tipped over and held your breath, waiting, because I'm the one that runs.  I'm  sitting on the dock and closing my eyes and listening to you talk just as you always listen to me and pet my hair.
You didn't look down till it was right beneath you, I know you were lying when you said the only reason you wanted to go swimming was for the snake, because  no one always sees it, and you're obsessed with paddling to the moon.

You let out your air, the first step in asphyxiation and you hoped that it would swim above you and away- and serpentine curves grew limp as thunder caught something. Copper mouth fangs ignited your hipbones just as purple lightening showed you a clean path to the comets, and now you're crying and holding onto slippery tales and electrical maps. You are beginning to fade, and I'm asking God to take me to an eye doctor so I can see you again, but everyone loves you more and right now you're saying good bye. "Bye N girl, I think I"m a  December girl and you're a January girl, and I only know how to be an ending. Whaddya think?"


I think January means hope and holding on but there's nothing to hold on to without December which means  phantom lungs that have forgotten how to breathe from holding breath for too long, and I think I need you.
One day I'll come find you, December, when I grow into summer I'll come looking for you, because the water's too cold for me right now,and I'm still afraid.

Love,
January Girl
Your sister,
Keana