I died at 9 pm.
I awoke to absolute darkness, even though my eyes were open.
My hands clenched fistfuls of sand as I pushed myself up and away from the ocean waves pushing gently, firmly, at my back.
I had fallen out of the boat, having only enough fortunate left to be carried by the current to solid land.
Without a guide or vessel, however, it was now up to me to find my destination.
I trudged up the soaked shore, my feet almost sinking, going only a few footsteps before meeting a welcome mat of broken shells.
Barely wincing, I continued, going a few more feet before turning and walking along a straighter path.
The entire place was dark, like a raven drawing a piece of coal with his own quill feather drenched in ink.
And yet, from somewhere unknown, came enough light to slowly trudge the path.
To my left was the ocean that had borne me into this world from the one before, and to my right was a wall, a low barrier sure to be a test.It was certainly low enough to be overcome and crossed, but no doubt offered only the depths of Hell to any cheater.
No. I could take this one just fine.
I continued to trudge, slowly, sweeping my vision before and behind me. Whispers from somewhere else played tricks on me, while the phantom wind chilled my bare skin.
The black waves pulsed irregularly, roaring at me, neither telling whether to continue on or offering to take me back. It simply remained in place, spitting forth white foam.
My feet sank deep into the sand, pricking at me with small invisible spikes as I walked. A test, I told myself. It was a test of my patience and will, I knew. I steeled my resolve as the mysterious spikes continued with their sadistic campaign.
Onward through the darkness I went, silently, only staring down at the sand, occasionally listening to the waves, foolishly, desperately, hoping for encouragement, only to be continually amazed at the silence in its roar.
I titled my head up, my eyes suddenly filling with the sight of two bright, illuminated beings ascending upward, taking their own seperate ways to Heaven.
I looked down at my stretch of sand and fought the urge to sigh, to reflect, the urge to show any sign of self-pity. I had brought this journey on myself. There was nothing to do but take it.
I had passed a ramp before, adorned with light, knowing it was not for me. I soon came upon another and walked by it too, knowing it was not for me.
But I knew mine was close now. I had no way of knowing how far or how long I had walked. My feet were growing sore, I was beginning to limp, and my only wish was to rest.
But I could not. I had to continue. My feet sank, raised, sank, and raised, no longer assaulted by mysterious fiends. In the last moments of my journey, I found my mind incapable of thinking about anything but what lay ahead of me, what my end was to be, whether my mortal actions to confront pain and hardship were to be rewarded or punished as seen fit by my judge.
I stopped for a moment and let the sand enclose around my feet. I had found my ramp, my exit, and my fated first step into a new world.
I stepped forward and leaned down, spying a pair of sandals. I smiled inwardly; a reward indeed.
I took only a moment to place them on my feet before placing one foot on the threashold of my ramp.
And walked up.
Author notes
A true experience, with slight, or massive, exaggeration. You pick.
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Excellent
'tis a very fine mini-short story with great imagery which held my interest all the way through. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
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Thank you.
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You are quite welcome.
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This really was good reading. It was more like a story than a poem but it keeps you wanting to read more
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I meant it to be like John Milton's kind of poem.
thank you though.
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Wow!!!!
This is stunning. Every word left me wanting more and this is amazing. Your poetry is brilliant and i love the imagery i got with this. Excellent and i really loved it. Fantastic!
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Well,t hank you very much. Imm glad you enjoyed it.
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Breathtaking. I found this to be so stunning, so full of imagery, In couldn't unglue my eyes from the screen. I was taken myself to another world, visualizing everything you revealed to me; you don't merely describe or tell... you show. I admire your genius...
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Wow, thank you a lot. I love reading comments like yours; they help me whenever I feel an idea of mine isn't good enough..
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I haven't found a single one of your ideas that hasn't left me stumbling for words.
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A very powerful peace dear cousin.I love it.It is extreamly strong piece and it makes you stop and think.Great job on this poem.
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Thank you very much, dearest.
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Holy shit, man. A truly fantastic piece. This one has so much emotion and damn!!! I am speechless. This is so good and I wanna make a prewrites contest soon, just so you can enter. Hells yeah for sharing the link! Tee hee.
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Heh, thanks a lot. I'm glad you enjoyed it so much.
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Awesome
Trials to be overcome, and never trying to take the easy way out. great piece!
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Thank you very much.
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