Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

My Son the Dandelion

Missing image

I have held you tight for 20 years.
I tried to protect you from the winds,
The tempest of the temptress,
and her hurricane of hurt.

Perhaps I gripped you too tightly

as I am left with just a stem and memories

as your essence has been carried away.

May you find shelter in the storm

and know

You'll always have a place

to call home.

Author notes

This is for my son Nicholas.
I feel he is making some tough decisions based on the input
of a girl he is head over heals in love with.


Love is Blind.
Photo by prettybabie73 at photobucket

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 28 of 28

  • Lencio Rodrigues
    September 22

    Edit | Reply
    it must be hard for you, but thats what happens to the children when they grow I guess, of course he is your son and he will surely make you proud, his twenty years in your care will not go waste. I hope he chooses the best path for himself. Thanks for sharing this, L3 and L4 are superb!

    Love and light
    Lencio


  • firefly53633
    June 15

    Edit | Reply

    I feel your pain!

    Hello! You have your heart on your sleeve in this piece! As a mother of 6 now-grown children I can really relate to this poem! Sometimes the hardest thing we as mothers must do is let go and let our children make their own mistakes or...live THEIR lives the way they THINK they should. As parents and people with more life experience we see the pitfalls that may make them stumble and want to prevent them from crashing and falling. I too have had this desire. Sometimes...we just have to remember that if we hold on too tight...we choke the stalk of discovery and learning.
    Remember when you were teaching your son to walk? Part of learning was falling. Hang in there Sweet Mama....your baby will learn!
    On the poem....Loved it! self-revelatory certainly.
    Simple but powerful!
    Best regards


  • Desire gold member
    June 15
    Edit | Reply

    Welcome Back!

    Thank You for sharing Your Gems of Wisdom
    ~
    I'm Blessed to read Your verse again~
    Honored to have You enter~
    Thankies for Your Patience
    Many Blessings to You in my contest Sweet Soul
    Best wishes & judging will be done shortly
    with much love and light~ Desire~*~


  • Injunpoet
    June 14
    Edit | Reply

    Very great !!

    it is a hard struggle to sit back and watch our children make there own mistakes ,,, sad whe n we have lost the power to protect them ... you have worded your pain beautifully .. thank you for sharing .
    If it came from your heart i wouldn change a thing !!


  • Axel Gold
    June 13
    Edit | Reply
    this is really beautiful, something I think almost anyone could relate to.

    I know that for me, this reminds me of my own mother and how she tries so hard to shield me from getting hurt, especially when it comes to relationships, but in the end she has to let me experience the pain for myself so that I can learn from it.

    very nice work here!

    Axel Gold


  • Violet Moodswing Greeters member
    June 12

    Edit | Reply
    Actually, I think that yours is the toughest decision of all. Your poem reflects that you have reached the point of realization that your job is done and now it is time to be a fellow adult with your son and allow him to find his own way.

    Just remember, you can never truly get rid of the dandelion even when trying so he is not gone he is just growing


  • mr-pants
    June 10

    Edit | Reply
    Good feeling and depth of imagery in such a short form. Your care shines through in your words as doesnt make it feel trite or shallow.


  • Muirghiel
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    I'm a young person who is making tough decisions and who is, out of necessity, insisting that I make most of these decisions without her input. So this poem is particularly poignant for me.

    The poem is brief, but speaks of an ache I feel when my own children toddle off to play with schoolmates and enter the care of teachers and family friends.

    There is nothing like the oneness felt when a mother and child melt into each others arms. As a child, I miss it. As a mother, I miss it. What's worse is when someone has come along to take that place. Who is this young woman? Look at her, foolish and inexperienced, leading my little boy astray! Look at how badly he is hurting!

    What we forget is that, as people, we once had to do the same. And that the tighter we clutch, the harder they fight to get away. We forget that sometimes all we can do is smile and pat the head in the "I'm-here-and-you're-fine-go-explore" sort of way.

    He will not cease to exist when you let go. He may fall flat on his face. Certainly, if this young woman fails him, it'll hurt him quite badly. But you're still there, hopefully hiding your anxiety as he embarks on the next leg of his journey to becoming an adult.


  • Stevie17Marie
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    your such a good mother =]
    i like the imagery you put in it
    great work =]



    Stevie

  • Papagallo
    June 9
    Edit | Reply
    This is most beautiful. Do not change a thing. I wish your son well and hope he listens to you. Love is indeed blind. Been there once and done that and the outcome was horrible. It is good that there is a place where he can call home. Hope that no storms come his way.


  • whitecoffee
    June 8

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed this also and I hope your son finds his own way. The words are very well chosen in this, and good tempo. I think it's a lovely poem.

  • demonyumian
    June 7
    Edit | Reply
    This is very good. It reflects the pain and anxiety of keeping someone to yourself and trying to let them go. I like the line "the tempest of the temptress". It was my favorite line in your poem. There is a steady flow in the poem and makes you want to keep going until the end. The title really fits the poem with the details of the dandelion seeds flying away compared to the essence of your son.


  • Allyson.Lashae.
    June 7
    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is very good, I really liked it


  • IronMaiden1236
    June 4

    Edit | Reply

    Actually,

    Leave the caps, the pattern is just fine, the eye is thrown off because we always capitalize I..Punctuation though, use or don't use but half and half messes with the flow.
    Good Luck, let him learn....


  • celticfairy
    June 4

    Edit | Reply
    As a parent myself ,I dread this day...my son is still young(thank g'awd)...but know this day will come...these are beautiful words truly spoke and felt from the heart,brilliant write,I really felt it


  • grammabuff
    June 4
    Edit | Reply
    As parent and grandparent, the best you can give children is room to learn and freedom to fail. Hard to do, as you know.

    A couple of small, mit-picky things: The commas at the end of line 3 and the cap on The as the beginning of the next line. Since you are using sentence style elsewhere, I think lose the cap. Same on line 11. Just to improve readability.


    Great poem. Thanks.

  • abu nuwas
    June 4

    Edit | Reply

    Families!

    I liked this very much ,because I related only too well with the sentiments...five children, countless grand-children.Of course we know they must learn to fly on their own;but knowing does not prevent quite futile worrying. It is part of what the french call 'la Condition humaine'.

    As to the thing as a poem, I suppose i felt that their needed to be some sharpness in there somewhere, like putting salt or lemon with food.


  • pinksnowboots
    June 3

    Edit | Reply
    Aww, I can feel the pain at wanting to protect someone who just maybe doesn't want to be protected anymore and all you can do is watch. So much emotion. Bravo!


  • shardsofmemories
    June 3
    Edit | Reply
    i love it. its very emotional. i have a feeling you are a great dad


  • Leth gold member
    June 3

    Edit | Reply
    I've got to say that this piece contains one hell of a load of emotion - strong and pure at that.

    I can say that personally, I'm on the other end of this poem. I was head over heels for a girl, and looking back, she made me do some things that I really regret, so I feel a twisted sense of relation to this, and that's another characteristic that draws me to it.

    Mechanically, its an excellent piece. It flows flawlessly, and keeps my attention throughout with the use of lines that vary dramatically in length, which is pretty hard to do, as I have a hard time really getting pulled into a lot of work I read on here.

    Also like the use of the background feature as well as the picture added.

    Great job! ^_^

  • Desire gold member
    June 3

    Edit | Reply

    Thank You!

    Thank You for Your entry: My Son the Dandelion
    This piece tugged hard at Spirit and after reading several times ~ I'm Honored also Humbled You took the time to pen for my contest

    You took the prompt and brought forth much for the Mind to feast upon~ Bravo!! When I digest words written, images come through that grab hard~ Woven Strengths: I Love the words: You'll always have a place to call home.
    That line tugs at me~ Swells the eyes because to have an open door...is like a Sanctuary to find Peace and reconnect self again- The harsh environment beyond the door~ can be better or worse for people and my son is 18...I can relate to the line: I tried to protect you from the winds, ... Even at his age now...I still do
    It is like that saying: been there done that...but I have not done it all nor will I however...I can share my experience and hopefully my son will learn from it Adore the words: May you find shelter in the storm...Too many are without one...and sleep on the streets...trying to stay warm
    Best wishes to Your son~ I imagine he will do just fine- hold his own- with a parent such as Yourself to guide
    Hopefully this makes sense
    Powerful verse and message You have brought forth

    These words grabbed and pulled~
    Perhaps I gripped you too tightly
    as I am left with just a stem and memories.
    Vivid Imagery poured in these lines...

    Thank You for sharing Your Talent also Voice
    also best wishes to You in the contest Sweet Soul
    Many blessings too
    with much love and light~ Desire~*~


  • Sara the Stray
    June 3

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoy seeing the view of a parent in such a situation, as opposed to the normal views of the one who is in love (or perhaps recently cut deeply by said love), and that alone sets this piece far apart from the many I've read and commented on within Allpoetry.

    I enjoyed the word choice, except "hurricane of hurt" which while probably used simply because of "tempest" (and a possible allusion to Shakespeare), I feel really doesn't give any indication of the situation, instead leaving a very vague viewpoint of what exactly has happened.

    Regardless of this simple nag, It's touching to see a parent remind their child that they will always have a home. I truly hope your son understands this as well, as this is an asset every child needs to know, and something I wish I had found out much sooner, before I ended up where I am today.




  • Sokarjo
    June 2
    Edit | Reply
    Fantastic title. My brother is doing the same thing, and now he is marrying her, much to my chagrin. So I feel this poem a little, even though he's my brother and not my son. It's tough to let someone make choices that you think will hurt them, but in the end it's the only way for them to grow and learn. Great write!


  • enlightenedatheist
    June 2

    Edit | Reply
    love makes us all do thing we never wished we had. Yet in bith life and love we can not learn and develop with someone holding us back.if they hold on too tight we grow to resent them...so release and let be!


  • lefthanded
    June 2
    Edit | Reply
    This is sweet and thanks for letting Nicholas be a man!


  • RentedHouse
    June 2

    Edit | Reply
    This is great. I wish you could have left more information though. Why did you write this? Is it out of love? Or maybe out of mourning? Or both? Anyway, good work. It's clear through this poem you love your child.


  • tearyeyedbutterfly
    June 1
    Edit | Reply
    wow...this is touching... nice job!


  • Denerica
    June 1

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful annalogy, your son, the stem you hold for his return, like a prodical son, A tear jerker, well expressed write. Excellent. Blessings.

1 - 28 of 28