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Failed

raised skin brewing
sewn with red thread
meat cleaver beak perspires a junction
the freeway is slick with internal organs

my neurons are burned out globes
to crack translucent skin
to split razor wire hairs

hatred from the corners
of the room as i vomit out
remains
never thought it end this way

cling to jagged edges
every single surface
warm caked with grime and make-up

show off the scars on your arms like trophies

pedestal perfection
like a disease to cling
you are the only carcinogen
I need to destroy this body

tiny dribbling mouths to harrow limbs
shreiking out for compensation
kiss the cheek meant to do harm
because they have all the best intentions

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • blueyez
    June 8

    Edit | Reply
    the last line is my fav... I love a last line that can encompass a write! Dark and lovely here


  • neurosine gold member
    June 1
    Edit | Reply
    Total ReEdit
    raised skin brewing
    and sewn with red thread
    meat cleavers inspire new junctions
    the freeway is slick with internal organisms

    my neurons are burned out filiments
    cracked translucent skin
    split by miniscule razor wire hairs
    hatred is conveyed from every corner
    rooms I vomit out
    remain
    never thought it'd end this way
    jagged edges
    clinging to every single surface
    warm caked with grime and make-up
    show off the scars on your arms like trophies
    pedestal perfection
    like a disease to praise
    you are the only carcinogen
    I need to destroy this body
    tiny dribbling mouths to harrow limbs
    shreiking out for compensation
    kiss the cheek meant to do harm
    because they have all the best intentions
    all for nought


    • Chainsaw
      June 1
      Edit | Reply
      Hmmm, you changed the meaning of various parts entirely, and also detrated from the interntionally terrible sentence structure of various parts Thanks, though.


      • Annexed Josephine
        June 8
        Edit | Reply
        alright. this is way better than i thought it was. shit. we're fucking talented. i'm just saying.

        • Chainsaw
          June 8
          Edit | Reply
          I'm faily pleased with it also We should definitely do some more together when I finish my exams. You inspire me. I hope you're happy with the title. I thought it was appropriate

      • neurosine gold member
        June 2

        Edit | Reply
        I'm not often inspired or pretentious enough to do a complete rewrite of someone elses work. I just saw something a little different, and then something else...and so on and so forth.

1 - 6 of 6