Mind Games

Dear whoever is up there to listen,

i want the pain to go away
i dont want to suffer anymore
it enternally eats away at me
i just cant take it anymore

lying awake for hours
staring into nothingness
feeling everything and nothing
all in a whirlwind of emotion

sick of the twisted games i play
the hot and cold
the push and pull
its all mind games that im playing

some are intentional
some just happen
cant really control my mind
and leading further into a hole

im itching for the temptation
no more hiding behind trepidation
im growing cocky now
and my hand is itching for that solution

take me away and give me peace
let me rest happy and easy
no more usually crying fits
i want to finally breathe

oh its not fair to friends and family?
what would they do after it all?
well, im gonna be selfish for one second
what about me?

ill be able to be happy
isnt that the ultimate goal?
to be completely happy and free
to live without regrets

well thats what i want
sick of living this lie
and knowing that when im saying one thing
there are more secrets to fall back on