Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

scroll of paper

scroll of paper 
next to the regal throne
unruly flush

Author notes

haiku
4-6-4
attempted to change an image of a regal king's throne to a bathroom image.

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Knight70
    May 31

    Edit | Reply

    very creative haiku.....

    This one has an excellent AHA moment with the "unruly flush." This really lifted my spirits today. It's so hot out today, and I've been over at my brother's house all week painting the inside of his house. I would have really loved some air conditioning. My niece cooled me off with a surprise shower of water, though. How sweet of her! She also dumped a whole bucket of water from the bathroom window while I was in the backyard. My other niece called me outside, and I went out there, wondering what they were jabbering about when WHOOSH! I'm still covered with paint, but I'm too worn out to get cleaned up.

    Very well done with this haiku! I love how you made the second line the longest, which is most commonly used by haiku poets.

    Don