Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

noyade

Missing image






tout comme l'opium pétri dans l'hachich
ta poesie est pétri dans mon âme

tout comme une flame consommera ma dépoille mortelle
mes senses sont consommé par ta musique

 

le matin tu passes mon corps entre tes doites

tout comme les perles d'un chapelet

et le ciel blue  de la journée nouvelle
devient consacré a la bonté de l'amour

les poissons des profondeurs connaissent la joie de ma noyade
immergés comme ils sont
dans les froids fonds d'une réalité
                                tout à fait à part du monde

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

les automatistes et l'amour




a rough translation:
"a drowning"- as if opium kneaded into hashish/ your poetry is kneaded into my soul/ as a flame would consume my mortal coils/ you music consumes my senses/ in the morning my body slips through your fingers/as if the pearls of a rosary/ and the new day becomes concreted/ to love's kindness//the fishes of the deep know the joy of my drowning/emerged as they are/in the cold depths of a reality/ quite apart from the world



art:"Ulysses and the Sirens"; Herbert James Draper 1909.

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • Seasinger gold member
    July 6

    Edit | Reply
    It's a beautiful language to write, read and listen to.
    You did brilliantly with this. Congratulations on the trophy.
    Hope you don't mind me pointing out a couple of speech recognition typos. In the English version:
    "concreted" should be "consecrated" and
    "emerged" should be "immerged".
    In line 3 of the French version "dépoille" should be "dépouille". That's singular, so your translation should be "coil" [if you use that word], not "coils"; but a more accurate translation would be "remains". i.e. bodily remains. ["coil" in the expression "mortal coil" means the hustle and trouble of living].

  • Susan E. Pennycuff
    July 4

    Edit | Reply
    We don't often see poetry written in anything other than english on this site so imagine my surprise when I opened this .

    I have to admit that I had to get my son to come read it to me and then tell me what it said in english... then of course I scrolled down to the author notes and the translation was already there... duh. Oh well, I got the best of both, what a pleasure to have heard this its orginal state.

    Beautifully done dear.

    Suzi


    • DogFish silver member
      July 4
      Edit | Reply
      My daughter and a few of her friends are on AP, and they are all bilingual and I've seen one or two contests asking for French poetry; so I know there are a few French speakers on the site. But a translation seemed only logical.
      But I'm glad you and your son had a moment of French language poetry together, Susan!


  • vaseline
    June 22

    Edit | Reply
    oh man c'est vraiment jolie! avoue que c'est plaisant ecrire en francais de temps a autre j'adore ceci!


    • DogFish silver member
      June 24
      Edit | Reply
      French is so 'perty. It hides one's "lacunes" as a poet...it just sounds poetic!


  • just mercedes gold member
    June 7

    Edit | Reply
    I'm not sure if I like this better in French or English - both are beautiful poems, and a great response to the prompt. Thank you for this entry.


  • Cannonsfire
    May 31

    Edit | Reply
    Glad you put the translation in though I do wish I could hear it in french C

1 - 7 of 7