We had hopes, dreams that fused themselves to our palms.
I soldered your words
To my eyelids
In the promise of never forgetting
Never neglecting.
Summer blazed
Its hands desperately reaching
To melt the ice
That became our barrier.
Dreams die
Fading in to the nothing
They call the past
All that’s left of us is bitter tasting
Corosive
Ash.
Author notes
I used the prompts dreams, but also ash.
A contest entry
- Freedom Rounds by Writing0Freedom.
400 points, ended June 22, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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title 3/5
relation to prompt 7/8
spelling\grammar 5/5
personal oppinion 10/20
rythmn 7/12
imagery 9/20
emotion 6/10
Diction 7/10
Originality 8/10
38
I like this though, you took it out of the box so I'm going to move you to the next round I think.
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Yeh, i have to say it's not my best.
Thanks for commenting though
x
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