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Always and forever [we'll be free]

Strike the drum and watch the dance,
By light of Fireflies they sing,
Our treasure here is not the gold,
But silver robes and ruby eyes,
Faires of the castle prance.

The only lasting beauty,

Is the beauty of the Fairies.

 

Summers men could not predict,

A fairer charm than that of these,

Our siblings rival is just a contest,

Set along by dragonflies,

Hear their pipes they'll never fade.

 

The only lasting haven,

Is the haven of the heart.

 

Author notes

ruby, silver, fairies and castle where the first four choosen words the last word was summer.

In a list

A contest entry

Is my use of vocabulary well used?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • honey bear
    July 24

    Edit | Reply
    what a sweet write but unfortunately it does not fit my contest which is about new babies still i enjoyed reading it and wish you luck in the fairy contest


  • Treasure 5 gold member
    July 18
    Edit | Reply
    This is really good. this is really good I love it. Thank you for entering thank you for sharing. I like the way you talk about the fairys fireflys and rubys eyes, I love them parts.


  • NooNiThEWitcH
    June 30
    Edit | Reply
    This is simply stunning. At first, I was wondering why you used "fair" so much but then it occurred to me that every time you used the word "fair" (fairies, fairer.. etc), it had a different meaning, which adds to the richness of the poem.

    I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. So, keep up the good work and best of luck in my contest.

    Nooni

  • Treasure 5 gold member
    June 18

    Edit | Reply
    I love faires This is pretty good. I like the way you said not gold, then Ruby eyes is kind of pretty. Thank you for entering and keep the good work up.


  • Sarin Rayne
    May 31

    Edit | Reply
    I think this poem is very beautiful.It paints a wonderful picture in my mind.I also love the picture that you put with it.

  • Xxpoison.kissesxX silver member
    May 31
    Edit | Reply
    loved it! and great picture to go along with it, Nice piece:]


  • Second Dance Reborn
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    First and foremost, I would like to send you a cyber hug ( ) simply because I read a very amazing poem just a few moments ago and I must say, I am... stunned and impressed. I think that if I were to mark any type of person as brilliant, you would be in my Top Ten (and that's no joke).

    Reading this piece, I find myself in another world for a time and it's peaceful. Time has slowed and life is abundant. There is no hate, no hurt, and people that you love and love in return. That is what I see when I read this poem. In a word, I would say that this poem is very near as... perfect as it should be, if not a little short. Still, I love it and I thank you for giving me the chance to read it.

    Signed,

    Rayn

1 - 7 of 7