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The Walking Stick

With ebony shaft the walking stick
From this witchcraft, I could not hide
My heart was pounding deep inside
Closer and closer … click, click, click

It tapped on cobble stone and brick
And from that stick he drew a sword
I saw my fate, my last reward
Closer and closer … click, click, click

That night was dark, the fog was thick
With ebony shaft ‘n silver crest
The sword was buried in my chest
Closer and closer … click, click, click

With ebony shaft the walking stick
Closer and closer … click, click, click

 

 

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1 - 33 of 33
  • Papagallo
    July 2
    Edit | Reply
    This is very good. I have a cane that I now use. Perhaps, I should get a walking stick with a sword inside. Punks love to pick on old guys. I believe you should give us more dark verse.

  • Spamuelton
    June 4
    Edit | Reply
    I like your illustraion


  • XLadyElinorX
    June 4

    Edit | Reply
    ooh, that final couplet. . . Good work, Amera - and may I say - please, ma'am, may we have some more dark sonnets?



    ♠ Lady Elinor


  • Desire gold member
    June 3

    Edit | Reply

    Ooooooooooh~

    Gosh I was shaking the monitor to read more
    I held on to each line~ Love the tight rhyme~
    and the overall feel of this piece~
    pulled me closer~ Magnificent indeed

    Might fine form~
    Thank You for sharing Your Talent
    Best wishes in the contest
    with love & light~ Desire~*~


  • poet2angels gold member
    June 3
    Edit | Reply
    This is beautifully written in form and content.
    So much emotion in these words
    Truly amazing
    AND YES, I MEAN AMAZING

    Lynda

  • montez gold member
    June 3
    Edit | Reply

    The word...

    ..."amazing" is much overused on this site.
    This is a fair poem - that's all.
    Regards,
    Robin.


    • Amera gold member
      June 3
      Edit | Reply
      Not everyone likes rhyming poetry. Thanks for the comment.

      • montez gold member
        June 3
        Edit | Reply
        My Dear Amera,
        I thought you would know me by now - I am a rhyming freak.
        The fact is, that the poem was ordinary - NOT "AMAZING", as your sycophantic friends insist!
        It was ORDINARY!
        Be HONEST for a change!
        R.


        • Amera gold member
          June 3
          Edit | Reply
          I see, well I'm just an ordinary person and everything I write write is ordinary.

          • poet2angels gold member
            June 4

            Edit | Reply
            I dissagree. Your poem is amazing and so are you and I am being HONEST, I am not being sycophantic as I have been accused of and as you know, I haven't known you well enough yet to be called a friend. I am a fellow poetess who entered the same contest and stopped to read a poem that I honestly do think is amazing.
            so I guess we all have our opinions. Mine comes with hosting and judging 396 contests. I just wanted to say again how much I loved this poem and want you to know that I was being sincere in my comment .


            Lynda

  • Purrsanthema
    June 2
    Edit | Reply
    How magnificently you weave around that line, using it to create greater and greater tension!


  • blueyez
    June 1

    Edit | Reply
    I love it and the way you chose the lines to be the ending !!!! amazing as always! "A" stands for amazing not amera


  • penman gold member
    May 31
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Another amazing write. So very masterful and so well done. Best of luck in the contest.


  • DesolatELifE
    May 31

    Edit | Reply
    I'm fairly confident that I agree with all of the comments below. Tired, so will not make my own decent comment.
    I will say this, though: I didn't like the click click line at first, but I think it was a great line to be repeated like that. Lovely.

  • Papagallo
    May 31

    Edit | Reply
    Very well done. Was Mr. Poe looking over your shoulder as you wrote this? Good luck in the contest,


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    May 31
    Edit | Reply
    Ah! Clever stuff, Sis!


  • kirbysman Moderators member
    May 30

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    Excellent job, but not surprised of course. I could picture a foggy London for whatever reason, but it was very clear and the sounds of the poem only enhanced that feeling. Very nicely done, ma'am. I loved it.

    Paul


  • JohnnyD gold member
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    indeed me cubbie, Poe would smile at thus piece of work. It is like the mother Panther in the treeline, stalking, stalking, waiting- waiting for that one leap which means a meal for her and her cubs.

    great pen

    Dad


  • Faeryn
    May 30
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, wow!! Amazing sonnet and I love the repeating line.
    Love,
    Tay


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    Good and dark, that's what I love from you, and excellent repetitive line brings it all together.

    All the best in the contest

    Love,
    Sue


  • Denerica
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    Wow...eerie with that click click click repitition, added to the demise at hand. Excellent write. Blessings.


  • RedAquarius
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    The repetition of click, click, click and the final lines being loose and menacing really work well for this dark piece. Good luck in your contest!


  • Pure Thought silver member
    May 30
    Edit | Reply
    Move over Poe.
    Really enjoyable to read again and again.


  • SteveS gold member
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    Very cool. I like this form and you really made it work with that haunting "click, click, click" and very good forethought for the emphasis in the concluding couplet.


  • Legend silver member
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    I have a good idea who's work this is. (my list i am sure) this shows why.
    I strangely had the image of an early James Bond film.Doctor No where the three so called blind men were tapping their way along the street ( to the song Three Blind Mice)
    A fine piece that shows off the talent of the writer to draw in the reader to their world Thank you for entering


  • cricketjeff gold member
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    The haunting clicks that lead to the end of life!

    Dark poetry in what is usually a light style is very effective

    Love it


    Jeff


  • campanaro silver member
    May 30

    Edit | Reply

    This was Fantastic!!

    Superb write Amera!
    Really good imagery.
    The very best to you in the contest my friend.
    Love Peace
    campanaro


  • Swangrnv gold member
    May 30

    Edit | Reply

    oooowww..

    this is good!! wow, a dark and foreboding feel to this, but yeah it's great and hey it rhymes PERFECTLY!!!


  • StarEyes
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    Sis,

    What a read this one is! I love it! I love the voodoo feel in this one, reminds me of a song, "witchy woman" I think it is. Great job!

    Best of luck in this contest!

    and love

    Nyetta


  • Have left the stage gold member
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    awww, lovely voodoo feel, with not too spectacular of word use. This is quite exceptional, when you see how self explained it is./ Fantastic.

1 - 33 of 33