Perfect, pleasant, innocent boy,
how does your garden grow?
With fruits abounding and sweet,
intoxicating flowers all laid out
to impress the beautiful girls.
Virtues grow in the corners,
and charm fills the air with it's fragrance.
Pleasure only takes a small performance,
tucked away under the modesty blossoms.
Cheer twines with laughter up the trellis
hanging their heavy, golden heads joyously.
Promise glows bright and singular on its own,
drawing butterfly graces with shimmering allure.
In the center are the apple trees,
heavy with their sweet, sleepy seeds.
Helped to grow by all the rest,
supported and coaxed by each flower's scent.
Bright as blood and smooth as glass,
pleasure for the eye and temptation for the tongue.
Dare we eat the sweet treats that others offer?
Dare, we may, but core the apple to eat the rest,
for the fruit is lovely to look upon and savor in the mind,
but sweet, perfect boy has diseased the heart, the core,
and all the rest are tainted with a sickly, succubus scent
of sadistic desire and narcissistic pleasure- only this
for those who tarry in his sickly sewn perfection.
Perfect, pleasant, innocent boy,
how does your garden grow?
A contest entry
- The Hollowness Beneathe by Rashida.
700 points, ended May 31, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts...
Comments
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25/25 ... Perfect!!!
10/10 - spelling and grammar
10/10 - imagery and metaphor
5/5 - sticking to topic
I loved the little singsong quality given to this piece with the echo of a nursery rhyme helping show how the boy makes everything seem so pretty outwardly, an awesome piece of writing. -
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Thank you so much, sorry it's taken me so long to comment back, I've been at a camp. But again, thank you so much for the gold. And I appreciate your canny ability to read into the poem, the boy was so beautiful, seemingly perfect, but a complete jerk... Anyways, lovely contest, keep penning,
~Emberess
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