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Or My Rain

Missing image
When I hurt inside
my tears fall like pain
Silence is like gold
against the rain

When I have triumphs
I dance in my room
I feel the rush of release
I feel washed anew

No one to turn to
No one to tell the pain
No one to care for me
or my rain

When the big C came
they pulled away
I guess I am poison
I need to be baptized

No one to turn to
No one to tell the pain
No one to care for me
or my rain

©Sam 2009

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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    September 24

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a heartbreaking piece, you know though that you are not alone Sam (with the same name as me ) if you ever need a friend I will always be here Best to you in the contest sweetheart

  • harriet567
    September 18

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a beautifully sincere poem - not complicated but just the right length. Hope it will help others who are suffering. God bless x


  • Mariana gold member
    July 23

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful, I could feel the heartfelt emotions throughout. Congratulations on the Gold. Hang in there and fight. We are all stronger than we give ourselves credit for. Well done!

    Mariana  


  • Kathleen a Nazarene
    June 11
    Edit | Reply

    I feel this

    deep in my heart & can identify! I don't have the Big C, but I've had multiple chronic illnesses all my life & understand your emotional & physical pain at least in part. Thanks for having the courage to express yourself like this in this poignant write! Glad you won Gold for this. It's worthy.


    • SamanthaSam gold member
      June 11
      Edit | Reply
      You will be in my prayers for your pain. May God bless and touch you and your sweet heart.
      Hugs, Sam I Am


  • Englandgirl2008
    June 2
    Edit | Reply

    wow this was just said.
    I am so sorry you are having
    to go through all this pain and suffereing.
    But God has this great plan for you. When you
    pass you'll still be alive.You'll be in God;s arms. Keep your head held high and know he's there for you all the time.

  • SapereAude11
    June 2

    Edit | Reply
    "When the big C came
    they pulled away
    I guess I am poison
    I need baptized."

    I like this stanza... that's the way the church works... they convince people there's something wrong with them and they need to be saved.

    That said, I feel like there's a lot of stuff that's left unsaid in this poem that could be elaborated on, such as the source of this character's pain. I feel like the rhyme and clipped lines are restricting you a bit here

    • SamanthaSam gold member
      June 2
      Edit | Reply
      The pain is the Big C (Cancer). I am 13 and I am dying of cancer so this is a true poem. I wasn't talking about the church but family and people in general who treat you like you are contagious somehow and pull away from you. Thank you for your nice comments.
      Love, Sam

      • SapereAude11
        June 7
        Edit | Reply
        I'm sorry. Best of luck in your struggle. The main character in the film My Sister's Keeper has the same problem. You'd probably like the movie... the book is one of my alltime favorites. Just a thought.


  • DeathuponTyne
    June 1

    Edit | Reply
    This is a fantastic poem- I love it! It is deep, emotional....Flooded with darkness.

    You have picked a great format for this poem.
    Well done.


  • ladybug.
    May 30
    Edit | Reply
    Very emotional in a slightly hidden sense. Very good, thank you.


  • perfectsunset gold member
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    Turn to God, He is the only
    one whom can heal your
    pain. Lift your burdens
    to Him, and you shall
    feel relief. God doesn't want
    us to suffer, He just wants us
    to build a relationship with
    Him. I am glad you are following
    the Lord's path. That is so very
    important, especially in the times
    of today.

    Stand strong!

  • perfectsunset gold member
    May 30
    Edit | Reply
    Aww this was so deeply
    sad and heartfelt.
    But you expressed
    yourself in such a
    lovely way.

    Thanks for entering & best of luck


  • whoudini
    May 30
    Edit | Reply

    Nice and I can feel the emotion in this work and

    the pain you feel and the joy. But more the loniness unable to share either with anyone , and how they left you alone , but it was really well written and dont see, but this poem here and if this was your first , I see nothing but a great future for you with more writing , be it poems or stories , thanks, sad but a very good read . Look forward to more of your work.

1 - 16 of 16