I know not what I see
Or remember as my own
Only fragments of yesterday
Masquerading as nostalgia
Images distorted by lust
Of hazed and broken days
Lead by the shadows of an angel
Through my body's many trials
Of penetration and of destruction
A self-contained numbness to light
My body torn to pieces and reassembled
By the crudest of stoned artists
Longing to find a place among the dirt
With no need for but a "Muse"
To a perverse system of finality
I know not what I need
Or where I may find appeal
Only shards of broken memories
From a world not of my own
My "Now" a guide to salvation
Yet my heart knowingly misguided
A glimpse of such "tolerance"
Of God and of depraved madmen
Fixated on the final frame
The journey now forgotten
But a means to eternal happiness
Drowned in hollow truths
My only light snuffed out
Yet still I followed her guide
Knowing depravity my necessary evil
I know not what I lack
Or when I lost my will
Only that I glimpse redemption
Within a possible future
One I cannot seem to reach
As the past holds my chest
Escapism my former salvation
Pills and lust masking my longing
For the gray which surrounded
Every moment of my existence
Before I met my only hope
A broken being just as I
To lead me from my monochrome
With remembrance of humanity
And of a world I left behind
I know not where I will go
Or if I will be redeemed
(Only a fool's hope, I fear)
Yet still I dare to fathom
A new life far removed from
The purgatory of my earlier days
Author notes
Another poem created solely by my fear of the past mixed with my longing for a brighter future. The concept, though I don't feel I quite matched it, was a penchant for today followed by a look back at the life I lived and what brought me to this point. It's all typical musings on the worst parts of my childhood (abuse, rape, religious fanaticism) followed by remembrance of how I dealt with it , and I know I've said it all before, if not quite as decisively, but I needed a bit of self-reflection, despite my hatred for such pointless drivel.
Anyway, despite the generic subject matter, I hope you at least somewhat enjoyed... or at best wasn't bored to death. - Matt
A contest entry
- Enter Your best. by Antebellum.
550 points, ended July 9, 169 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell Me Your Troubles by KatherineAnne.
550 points, ended July 8, 59 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - COMMENTS CONTEST V.3.0 by Bean Sidhe.
950 points, ended October 23, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Enjoy?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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There is a depth of spirit encased in this piece, a harbored hope of a better tomorrow and the message comes through loud and clear.
The vocabulary you chose fleshed out the initial concept in a very satisfying manner and I am pleased that the simple premise has been reborn to a powerful message. A steady reminder that you can't help where you've been but you can chose your path to walk tomorrow.
Very nicely done. Thank you for your entry & best of luck to you in the contest.
- Bean Sidhe -
I loved this! Great word choice and a lot of emotions in this write. I can relate. I often dwell and fear the past and hope for a brighter future.
Thank you for your entry piece and goodluck in the contest.
-Kati -
Thanks so much for entering
&&
Good luck.
[if you are placed in the finalists I will leave a better comment]
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I like it
The word choices are very interesting, and makes this a deep piece, I think. My favorite parts are lines 11 and 12, and 41-44. It makes me feel sad but hopeful. Good job.
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great poem. The last stanza is extremely well crafted and draws the poem together well. While i well not say i enjoyed reading (only due the the painful subject matter) i enjoyed the poem well written, start and ending are great.
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