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Liars, Fakers, and Lovers

Liars close their eyes
The fakers feel despise
Lovers begin to die
As life passes me by
-------------------------
Their eyes slowly wander
The urges growing stronger
But what is this all for?
If it's just a meaningless score?
-------------------------
My eyes are open but I can't see
This time my heart betrays me


.....The liars, fakers and lovers
          Are all fortunate to be free 

[I can't help it, I'm just full of jealousy]

Author notes

Ummm random
I wrote some of this during benchmarks and the middle during sex ed

**the last part in brackets is not meant to rhyme with the otherss

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Concrete Angel silver member
    July 2

    Edit | Reply
    Yeah, totally random... but also profoundly deep whether you see it or not. lol. As I read this I began to interpret it as a view of the lovers being the liars and fakers... because those lovers who are liars and fakers are the ones who continuously keep score of those they have cheated and hussled in the game of life and love... like the dudes that keep a list of their one night stands so they can keep track their "score" referring to the number of wmoen they have slept with... pig dogs... lol. Anyway... I like the part in brackets because it seems like you took a moment to stop and think about everything you just said and realised that you feel this way due to a jealousy you feel toward those you have written about... though we shouldn't feel jealous toward those who cheat themselves in the way liars and fakers do. hehe. Well penned and nicely put together. Great write!


  • Violinstrings silver member
    June 13

    Edit | Reply
    no this is real emotions
    I see jealousy with the confusion it brings
    very well written
    using your eyes as a sense
    great title too


  • Fantasy.Dreamer
    June 8
    Edit | Reply
    Great Poem Syd!!!! =)


  • Dead Hair
    June 2
    Edit | Reply
    AWESOME SYD!
    *getting ready for graduation* lol


  • rainboots
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    I had to reread this just to really soak it up. And I liked it. It was unique. Although the bright pink is a killer on the eyes . . . . Great write.


  • With Broken Wings
    May 28
    Edit | Reply
    xD!
    So this is what you think about during sex ed, hmmm?
    D Silly Sydney! Umm wait no... Burbly Becky D
    Anyways onto the "constructive criticism"
    This is a quite interesting write, my dear father.
    I quite enjoyed it. Congrats on your writer's non-block D


  • bar room stool
    May 28
    Edit | Reply
    great job love the wording and flow

1 - 9 of 9