Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

A vessel from which the soul carried shame

A vessel from which my soul carried
A broken heart lined with shards of glass
Keeping alone in my domain of privacy
Leading to know the thoughts that
    haunted my dreams

Its time now to be honest: who I am inside
A wounded soul in need of healing
And sweeten the darkened lie
To grab and hold the pain
    in my heart

Save me from my convictions
Of the lies I told myself
My fault is the centerline
Of many earthquakes that shield
    and saved me

Discounted credits in my name
Of vacant lots and saviors shame
Boasting of times of stories told
A child hiding in the hearts of old
    screaming for you

Author notes

M y s t i c I r o n y

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • Justified Inc.
    October 13

    Edit | Reply

    Loved it!

    I loved it from start to finish! Esp. the earthquake centerline! Way cool!
    Great job with this one Ashley! Now will you write a recent one from where your at so I can come read it?/???? LOL
    I am way curious about what you will write now!
    Love ya!
    MOM


  • Lord Eldyn
    August 20
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    This was, well, very insightful... I can almost feel it

  • Great imagery...

    a lot of emotions flowing through this one. Good write!

  • A very talented write, you paint wonderful moving pictures with your word choices, liked this a lot, good luck.

  • This is very creative and beautiful. You really hooked me with this poem, never a dull moment while reading. Thanks for entering and good luck.

  • Save me from my convictions
    Of the lies I told myself
    My fault is the centerline
    Of many earthquakes that shield
    and saved me

    Once I read that I fell in love, fits me perfectly
    Thanks for sharing

    x

  • "Discounted credits in my name
    Of vacant lots and saviors shame
    Boasting of times of stories told
    A child hiding in the hearts of old
    screaming for you"

    What can I say? You are brilliant.


  • Vickie Rosa
    June 18

    Edit | Reply

    TOUCHING

    YOUR CHOICES OF WORDS ARE WISE, YOU HAVE GREAT WORK, I FELT THE TORMENT IN THIS PIECE,
    WONDERFUL JOB MY FRIEND, PEACE BE WITH YOU ALWAYS


  • Karra-Mayy
    June 12
    Edit | Reply
    i ment to put this on... sorry


  • Karra-Mayy
    June 12

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing Write

    Your An Amazing Poet!!!

    Check Out Some Of Mine

    Mine Arnt As Good As Yours Tho

  • WOW another great poem... the emotion is so powerful, the words make everything fit so perfectly, you did a great job,

    p.s i liked the second stanza the most... i love the emotion.


  • etoile
    June 1

    Edit | Reply
    I love the last stanza. the imagery is really beautiful. and the title is pretty amazing as well. I really like the earthquake image as well.

  • This is really nice. I like the flow of it, I like how it continues. Nicely done!

  • Ohh, I loved this; it was dark yet so beautiful =D

     

    "Its time now to be honest: who I am inside
    A wounded soul in need of healing
    And sweeten the darkened lie
    To grab and hold the pain
        in my heart"

    This part was my favorite, I liked the vivid imagery in those lines especially. Some of the words you chose, like "haunted", "wounded", and "vacant" brought out the intensity of the piece.

    This is an incredible write and I look forward to reading more of your work

     

    ~~>♥<~~


  • stepbystep
    May 29

    Edit | Reply
    oh goodnesss me. did you write this one at the mall, too? xD

    hehe. but seriously, love, this was fantabulous. a little dark, and the last line was [killaaa]

    you're wonderful at poetry.

  • gee, someone wants comments xDD
    I like it. it's dark. you have typos. but I think cause you typed too fast.

    I like the earthquake part the best.

  • i love this poem,, the way its formated, the feeling and emotion in there. the wording and phraising is perfect, great job on ur poem,,, its really amazing

1 - 19 of 19