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Her Love's Guitar

She listened at her window bar -

  A sad and distant serenade
Came rising from her love's guitar.

The castle walls were dark as tar;
  Around them clung the lurking shade -
She listened at her window bar

To strains that wafted from afar
  And at her heart were gently laid:
Sweet music from her love's guitar -

Beneath the gaze of sun and star
  The tower held that captive maid
Who listened at her window bar -

Below the moon's bright scimitar,
  Alone she knelt and wept and prayed -
Sad music of her love's guitar -

And ever to his lady, far
  Across the hills, her lover played;
She listened at her window bar
To the mourning of her love's guitar.

Author notes

I wanted to write a villanelle, and came up with this. . .my warmest thanks to Eusebius for inspiring me to write one. . .




what dost thou think. . .

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Holynda
    July 31

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    This is wonderful and expressive with an seemingly effortless flow, especially the last line of each stanza. I love the beauty of these old fashioned forms.


    • XLadyElinorX
      August 1
      Edit | Reply
      thank you very much I'm afraid this particular poem hasn't done so well. . .so I'm glad to hear you like it! Elinor

  • This is GORGEOUS! How beautifully and intricately mournful!


  • Dark Otter
    June 1

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    Image driven

    that plays sweet music in my head. A romantic interlude pops out into existence with this work. Your voice is clear and strong.

  • Eusebius
    May 29

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    You have taken a few liberties with the villanelle, but besides that this a superb write, exquisite, wonderful and full of power and otherworldly enchantment!!! (dame de la riviere is correct.)

  • Oh, this is a wonderful villanelle! The theme is great, the diction lovely, the form executed as if you've written scores of them. Very nice work! , Dannie

1 - 7 of 7