Transformation
The amateur gazes out into liquid eternity.
The soul journeying out among the shipmates
Following the wind like particles of dust and all
At once drawn to the horizon and withheld in the beam.
The impressionist light translating our images
Onto it's watery canvass for the amateur to behold.
Toasting the elements in its path creating wrinkles
In the beyond.
The amateur watches from the shadows as
The orange pill lights up the schizophrenic.
Highlighting the uniqueness of the flaws.
The novice, the creation and the creator
Suspended in minutes before eclipse.
But the souls like the birds have their freedom
And the starboard unscathed in its darkness
Sails forward into the murk and as
The drug wears off and the light begins to dim
We are all Mr. Hyde.
Author notes
a perception of an individual standing on the shore. that picture was just too tempting to write about. i think i could write 10 poems on it. anyways heres a start.
Written March 15th, 2004
A contest entry
- Contest for new March members ~Come Sail Away~ by Barbara.
300 points, ended April 3, 2004, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This poem has a spiritual feel to it - the line:
The novice, the creation and the creator - an outstanding line with the realisation that there is always more to what the eyes actually see.
A beautiful entry for the contest. - thank You
~Von~ -
The opening stanza is just beautiful. I love the descriptions. The second stanza is almost just as good, although the word 'amateur' was used a bit. Novice could be used to mean the same, so you wouldn't have to repeat 'amateur' so much. Just a suggestion. Other than that tiny thing, the second stanza was awesome. I like how you ended this. Good luck.
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This is a differnt way to look at the picture I think, as most have thought of themselves actually on the ship, so yes good perspective and good luck!
Lakota x -
now this i liked very much!!...your imagery woke me up and the seaspray nearly hit me in the face!!...yup yup yup...good one!!...good luck in the contest!..hugs..leanne xx
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this is a good piece
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Absolutely astute and sharp! Lovely slant on this...high brow language! Special. Thank you...!!
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Cool....
Intersting poem based on the picture, and I can see how one would view the image as such. It's an incredible picture, and I'm glad that you were inspired to write such a great entry as this one.
Nice use of words and images displayed in a well written poem. Nice choice of background, too...it adds to the overall feel of the poem.
Thank you for entering this
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