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The Devil's on my Left Shoulder, the Angel's on my Right

Missing image
Lips upon lips, and skin upon skin -
lust is building up from deep within.
You couldn't imagine feeling this way:
licking and sucking and fucking all day.
 
You look down on me, while you're on your knees,
but at least I know I'll escape a venereal disease!
Do you think they respect you, up against the wall?
I'm proud of my chastity; unlike you, I won't fall.
 
I look at myself and see only perfection,
and I know I deserve all the attention.
Pride is no more than a sense of self-worth -
and it has been instilled in me since birth.
 
You might mistake me for having no dignity,
but it would do you good to learn some humility.
There is nothing wrong with self-deprecation;
less pride would be met with more appreciation.
 
What is the point in all this exertion?
And don't even bother trying coercion;
you and I both know that sloth is okay!
So let's just chill out a bit; what do you say? 
 
But surely diligence is the way you should go;
laziness is abhorrent, I should hope you know!
If everyone was slothful, where would we be?
We'd fall apart while sitting in front of the TV.
 
Beer and some pizza; a cupcake or three -
can anything be better than gluttony?
Biscuits and donuts and burgers galore;
don't think of stopping - I always want more! 
 
Have you looked at yourself in a mirror lately?
Your chin wobbles; your waist's expanded greatly -
you dare to pig out and then look down on me?
Perhaps, after all, temperance is the key.
 
I'm glad none of those pesky morals interfere -
when I'm after something, others should fear.
Being envious just means I know what I need;
there's nothing wrong with that, you must concede! 
 
On the contrary, I'm inclined to disagree -
your envy is both dangerous and unhealthy!
Rather than always trying to race on ahead,
perhaps you could try a little kindness instead.
 
The tiniest things can get me all fired,
but wrath is a quality to be admired.
There's nothing wrong with passionate rage -
would you prefer emotions locked in a cage? 
 
Oh but you see, anger can be destructive -
how can your rage possibly be productive?
Nothing will come of it but a coronary -
patience is preferable; surely you see?
 
Nothing that I want can escape from me -
and I want pretty much anything that I see.
There's nothing wrong with a little greed;
for me, getting my own way is guaranteed! 
 
And is getting your own way such a blessing?
Who exactly do you think you're impressing?
If all were like you, we'd destroy humanity;
perhaps you should try a little generosity.
 
 
So somebody has their priorities wrong;
 or maybe sins and virtues can get along?
I don't have to pick the left or the right -
I'll just find balance between red and white... 
 
 

Author notes

Prompt: Write about one or all of the seven deadly sins, BUT I want you to have the sin talking to the virtue, and the virtue talking back - from Midnight-x-Rose.

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Comments

1 - 30 of 30
  • Oh my gosh I love this!!! Wow the rhyme and flow was absolutely perfect. You totally nailed this prompt! There is something wrong if you dont win Gold for this. Amazing job!


  • Enrinye
    August 23

    Edit | Reply
    a very well penned write, full of wondeful lines and a great rhyming scheme...loved the 'coverstaion' style between the sins and the virtues it made your poem lively and flowing...

    take care
    Suza

  • oh gosh i loved the ending of this! it was just perfect. thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!

  • Bevey
    June 29
    Edit | Reply

    Amazing write, enjoyed the read, the rythm, the rythme the intensity and the format, could not stop reading. Great one!!!!

  • it was great

    i love this poem it shows you the difference between all the 7 sins


  • simonefly
    June 19
    Edit | Reply

    Bravo!!! I loved it!!!

    Is this poem published? If it's not it's a damn shame. I love the way you threw it down.

  • Amazing, simply amazing... I cannot see how you didn't win the gold for this. The rhyme and flow was incredible, and I loved the ending, especially the symbolic pink font further showing the "in the middle" status. This is a poem that should be published, and congratulations on a well earned trophy.

    • Thankyou so much for taking the time to leave such a lovely comment!

      ♥ Maria ♥


  • In Too Deep1
    June 13

    Edit | Reply
    Wow!!! This is truly an amazing read. You hae a very unique and intriguing style, and a masterful way with words. A most enjoyable read, and congrats on a well deserved win!!!

  • Nicely done Maria! I really liked this. Your imagery is outstanding and I loved the personification. I had a prompt like this once, but it didn't turn out very well. I love how you were able to do this. The ending was catostrophically amazing. I really liked this. Great job and good on ya' for your shiny.

    Josh

  • Funny, sensual, sexy, hot, passionate and thought provoking, all fits into the categories of this piece. Well wrote. I love the 'angel' and 'devil' sides.

  • I LOVE the layout, and I LOVE the sins vs virtues, you're just amazing!!!!
    It works so well the way you've written it and it all fits in and well...
    IT'S JUST SO FREAKING AWESOME

    • YOU'RE SO FREAKING AWESOME.

      Thankyou so much for your comment, my dear; it means a lot

      Maria

  • luv it amazing

  • Kari gold member
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    Damn girl. This made my mouth drop. It totally rocks all the way even the format kicks ass.

    The only suggestion I might have is in the 1st part on line four you use the word "and" twice. Maybe take off one and just use a coma or something else. No biggie though.

    I agree with what kray said. It's been awhile since I've read such a great poem like this one.

    If it was my contest I would judge it now and give you the gold.


    Kari

  • kray
    May 28
    Edit | Reply
    wow....this was a real good one
    I haven't yet read a poem like this

1 - 30 of 30