Wash The Pain Away

Great pain comes with the memories
I wish the pain would wash away
Like the sand by the sea

Excessive hurt comes with the flashback
The deadly scenes won’t leave my mind
Like a disease won’t leave the incurable

I can still smell
The stench of his clothes
And the aroma in the air

I can still feel
The violent grips of his hands
Bloodthirsty for my soul, my innocence, my…everything

I can still remember
The words he said
So vulgar and vile; how could anyone forget?

He took my childhood
My adolescence….my innocence
I entered womanhood way before my time

The feeling of being unclean,
Losing virtue and integrity,
Can make anyone feel ashamed

My body is tainted; dirty and impure
This affliction is forever
And impossible to cure

Violated in the most horrific way
You heard me scream
But I couldn’t make you stop

You turned up the radio
To muffle the screams
And a little girls fear

I won’t lie
I liked the attention
Does that mean it was all my fault?

Did I?
An 8 year old
Lead you on?

Can you really blame me?
One without sense
Young and juvenile

For five years
I was mute
Scared and afraid

I trusted you
But I was betrayed
Why would you do that?

I had sympathy for you once; when the Stockholm was there
But now that I’m older
I know that you’re the low life and the sinner

This recollection in my head is a reminder of you
The pain and the hurt
And all the things I went through

How I wish that I could wash the memory away
But would that make me
The strong woman I am today