I look outside as birds buzz through the air
The clouds still swirling darkly overhead,
The storm's electric wrath still building flair
As roiling elementals see despair.
The depth of waiting catches hold in dread
As wraiths of times immortal rise return,
For children born of Cain, the earth has fed
Of Able's blood in ghosts of those undead.
In realms we dare not see the tides have spurned
And freed ancient demons to feast on souls,
As time vanquished on Cain an endless burn
A brother's face to see again and yearn.
Who knows the weight on Cain, the price he tolls
The vagabond of winter's reaching shoals.
Author notes
Sonnet: abaa bcbb cdcc dd
In a list
Let me know How this makes you feel, what do you think?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
I unerstand the difficulty writers have with this form. I recently gave it a shot.
this looks like one of the italian styles. it seems the turning line is the ninth which i am told is correct for this particular style. i appreciate the fact that you did not use archaic language and ten letter words or butcher words by putting ' in the middle of them. i also like how it ends with sort of a question, leaving the reader to wonder and leaving the final conclusion up to us. As far as being called a masterpiece c'mon, i know you are too modest to believe that. but is is better than any sonnet i have ever written. and it is nice to have such a great fan club.
rock on T.
-
-
Thank you, my friend
Your right I do not believe I have ever written a masterpeice, I only feel I have fun trying to write a sonnet. I often feel I have failed by the conclusion. I do apreaciate your words and interpittation of my work, thank you very much for taking the time and letting me know you liked it. Sincerely, Robert
-
-
Thank You for sharing this MASTERPIECE
This poem made me think for the first time of how evil is related to time. It seems that God is testing individuals through different eras of technological development, different challenges for different people.
-
good story of cain and able rewritten poetically
sonnetts are hard because rhyming is a skill without losing the meaning
meter and syllables count is such another obstacle
your adjectives are so fitting to the idea
I love your word choices
you use the word Cain
he spent all his money that is the price
-
this is truly an exquisite piece. so wonderfully written. filled with very indepth and powerful wisdom.
-
I'm not sure if it's reading Hawthorn's influences here at work or another masterpoet.But this sonnet is right up there betwix and between sheer mastery.
-
What a wonderful sonnet. I have seen your skills as a sonneteer grow by leaps and bounds. You have now reached perfection in form and imagery. This poem has a very deep meaning.
Love,
Amera
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
