My ex-wife’s sister’s boyfriend’s foster-dad
is a Stanford, Berkeley, Duke and Princeton grad;
a skillful lawyer, teacher, preacher, pastry chef
who is anemic, ectomorphic, impotent and deaf,
and when he teaches, preaches, or sues for contract breaches
he serves Tiramisu topped with heaps of rum-soaked peaches
to hold his listeners captive for his mystifying monologues,
that make them snap or clap or nap in alcoholic fogs.
A contest entry
- Under The Influence [Could Be Quick] by SizzyFid.
510 points, ended May 29, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Silver Pre-Writes by Leance.
450 points, ended July 12, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The days of our lives by Paladin of Light.
550 points, ended July 17, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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This is terrific
Big smiles all the way
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well that was fun to read
the title fits perfectly. i enjoyed reading these captivating words 
congrats on well deserved trophies
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need i put more
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ha!
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I would like to thank you for taking the time to view and enter my contest.
Contests here on Allpoetry are a lot of fun and I hope that everyone enjoys them.
I will soon be posting a contest for BRONZE only poems. I do hope you will consider entering.
If you are dreaming, you should be writing
For dreams are words we should share
Sharing makes us all stronger
So thank you for sharing your dreams and words with me
Judging:
Oh my word, how were you able to manage all of that? Very well done.
Question, are all of his student loans paid off???
Title: Perfect title for this poem.
Content: Very full within such a short tongue twister. Go ahead, say that first line three times.....
Imagery: Imagery is alright, I think you were writing more on describing what the person was, not what they were doing yet I could vividly see a nap in alcoholic fogs....what a sight.
Grammar: Looks like you were able to manage appropriate grammar throughout this piece that seemed like this man was pretty much out there.
Flow: For the most part the flow went well however, here and there it was a tad difficult because of tongue twisting.
Thanks again for entering.
Leance
A goal is a dream with a deadline.
-Napolean Hill-70
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Wow what joy, a fine humorous poem fabulous imagery, very suitable title, and that first line really hooks the reader, it all flows well despite the various syllable counts, which tells of your wonderful word choice.
A very enjoyable read, thank you.
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Very good. I enjoyed this poem alot. I love the creative rhyme. Very well done. Congratulations on the silver cup.
Mike
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Bravo!!
What an exceptional write...
Truly enjoyed this.
Thanks for sharing.
Love Peace
campanaro
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Wow, I love the matter-of-fact detail in this. This is a wonderful, wonderful poem.
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This was rather a fun poem to read. I enjoyed how quickly it, and I always appreciate the very creative title. Good job!
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This has a fantastic rhyme, such a lovely flow. I also have no idea what you're talking about, but I like it .
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I have no idea what that ment.. but sound's good wen u read it out loud.
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ok.........NO IDEA what in the world you are talking about but I must say and hats off to you your flow was absolutely amazing!! kind of has alot of irony in this poem. Super easy to read with that flow so ya great job and thanks for sharing.
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hahaha hahaha this is the best thing ive read all day, its so damn clever....this was awesome to read out loud
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I friggan love this!
I love the way it flows and all the descriptive words you used! I love the way it rhymed too! had me laughing.
Those sneaky lawyers! -
lol..."BLOODY BRILLIANT"...well done mate...I like it alot
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i'm kinda unsure about the meaning behind this because it seems a lot more complex than what is just at the surface.
but it's very good as far as i can get into it.
good job
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this is good <3 ^^ ....its also funny, and slightly sad at the same time.
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Excellent
'tis a very fine write, indeed. You expressed your thoughts quite well. However, based on personal experience of many years ago, I created a slogan:
"Don't Drive Drunk; Pink Elephants Ahead". lol
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pink elephants...you know that's the logo of the Delirium Cafe in Brussels?
did that have anything to do with this slogan you created? ;D
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it ok
really weird yet good nice i like
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Special!
Soooooooooooo smart! Love the form, folding-rhyme, and the wise 'gluten' that makes this loaf
a wonderful reflection the embodiment of malady and the artful dodgers who could be 'anybody'.
Superb, in my opinion, in content and form.
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Hear, hear!!! I'll buy the next three rounds if you're going to write like this! Congrats on the silver trophy, though let's think of it as "bleached gold" because in most (rational) contests this would definitely be gold worthy. Argh! It's a work day and I'm on the clock, but I'd like to sit here and gush over this a little more if I had the time.
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This was fantastic, especially considering the alcohol intake! The whole thing reflected brilliantly on society today, and had a very humorous twist to it.
Thank you very much for your entry
It was a pleasure to read your thoughts! x -
Great work. I love Tiramisu and rum-soaked peaches... not so sure about rum-soaked preachers... Bravo!
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I love this! The first line is a map of 21st century family groupings, an anthropological document. Rhyming monologues with alcoholic fogs seems genius to me, but maybe my red wine fog hasn't lifted enough yet.
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