I cried today,
And the sky,
Joined in refrain.
It began with,
One streaming tear,
Meandering down my,
Emotionally catatonic face.
Surprising even myself,
"What the hell?"
I wondered aloud.
And then came,
Rolling gray clouds,
Thounderous in decibel,
Since I lacked,
In fervent prayer.
The sky uttered,
aloud for me.
Crack, and boom,
And down they fell.
Droplets in witness,
To the feelings,
Resounding within me.
How so refreshing...
That Mother nature,
The feminine divine,
Still shows care,
For every one,
Of her creatures.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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A bit depressing! Cheer up! Read a funny book! Eat a nice meal! Drink a bottle of wine! Every cloud has a silver lining. Well, some of them do.
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great job on describing what crying really is. and what it feels like.
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Amazing write
was realy moved by this piece as often I have this feeling that, who cares and I cry alone, today you proved me wrong as there is however a care in this world, whether it is mother nature or just someone that passes by, well penned, and emotionaly moved I must say this piece shows the ability of your writing, as you use something sooo small that we take for granted to mean so much,
well written
Zia,
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Poet
Wow and to be cleansed , if only for a little, of the insidious depression that strikes not only at out hearts but most of all our minds. great write. I feel for you. & if ever you read a poem by me make it...' The mind within my mind ' ...
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I teach creative writing and have found the best way to inspire raw emotion is to allow the writer to scribe free of any restrictions or inhibitions. Your poem is filled with metaphors and meaning. The words within support the title and the gray mood that is felt as the reader soaks in your feelings. I think each writer should be free to write words, and no more...you have done well here poet.
Much Love & Respect ♥
Renee
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Thank you...
I would like to thank you; so much.
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I found this to be a lovely poem with big emotional impact on the reader (me), the only crit I have is I think you could do better with your punctuation: I cried today. (period) The sky joined in refrain. (period) Also, you use to many CAPS, now this is just my opinion, but I think you should only use CAPS at the start of a sentence.
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Thank you...
I often struggle to balance remaining true to inspiration and practicality. The same happened while working out Wet Wash. Sharing any literature, poetry in particular, is like jazz musicians sharing their crafted art. You will find so many wonderful interpretations of the same concept and each interpretation is ok to someone. None the less, I will try harder to nail down that balance without being too heavy on either side. Thanks again.
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