Please, Oh Please (Revised)

When I’m in the hammer lane and zooming right along,
Please, oh please stay off my ass, it’s not where you belong!
And if by chance you do decide that this is where you’ll linger,
Please, oh please take no offense when I flip you the finger!

And if by chance this gesture happens right before your eyes,
Please, oh please just understand, you Fumb Ducks I despise!
I can’t drive any faster than the guy in front of me,
But when you’re head is up my ass, I’m sure that you can’t see!

I have an alter ego which they say is called Road Rage,
And if you don’t back off my ass, you’ll free it from its cage!
Please, oh please my aggressive friend, please get off my ass,
It’s better to get there a second later, than wind up in the grass!

So if I’m in the hammer lane and zooming right along,
Please, oh please don’t cut me off, that move is just damn wrong!
But if by chance you do decide that this should be our fate,
Please, oh please keep up the pace or I will get irate!

I completely understand you passing that slower clown,
Just remember you cut me off, so drop that hammer down!
Please, oh please my passive friend, please step on the gas,
Don’t turn me into a hypocrite and make me ride your ass!

For once you make me cross that line, you’ve opened up that cage,
The one that holds a nasty beast, my ogre called Road Rage!
I hate it when that monster’s loose, for I know not what he’ll do,
So please, oh please move over quick, that’s my advice to you!