Magnificence blazed,
Basking openly in the genius of its own experience.
Torture, rushing downward
Snaps stem, bruises petals,
Grinds into nothingness my brilliant glory.
Fiendish paradox
That such effort,
Such grandeur,
Be stolen away on the whim of anothers happiness.
Author notes
A contest entry for 30-40 words of brilliance #68 by AutumnGypsy Prompt:http://meppol.deviantart.com/art/in-the-clouds-123674086
A contest entry
- 30-40 words of brilliance #68 by AutumnGypsy.
550 points, ended June 5, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What feelings do these words evoke for you?
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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A flower exists for no reason other than to exist. It is so perfect, so lovely, so One in its Oneness, symmetrical petals arranged just so by an unseen hand. It waits all winter, then takes a week or four or sixteen to bloom.
And then, some stranger appears, experiences some passing fascination. In plucking it up and taking it away, dooms it to a swift and unceremonious death.
Very, Very clever -
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Thank you for your comment. I could not include the picture prompt, it was of a child running through a vast field of daisies. The childs' feet being the "torture rushing downwards ..."
Yes, far too often such beauty is destroyed because 'we can' with no thought for any other option. Children are allowed to freely 'do what they will' because they must not be fettered in their enjoyment of life, it saddens me that by allowing such abandon, their caregivers sentence them to a life lived less fulfilled and where 'gimme, gimme' attitudes rule. So sad.
So glad you saw my point.
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How I know a truth behind these lines, you capture almost how I feel in this moment. Well written indeed. Best to you in the contest
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Thank you for your comment.
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Brilliant. Excellent write.
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Thank you for your comment. I do hope you understood the point I was trying to make.
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Oh, I like that a lot. The ending makes it very clear. Yeah. Very bloody good.
I really like the ending. And that's how it is. Years of perfection thrown away because one moment was 'too much' to resist. So sad.
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Thank you, your comment indicates you may be the only one who has actually understood the meaning behind this piece. Thank you for allowing your own thoughts and perspectives to dwell "outside the box".
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i liek the words grinds. it amazes me. great job on the poem
"Torture, rushing downward
Snaps stem, bruises petals,
Grinds into nothingness my brilliant glory. "
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Thank you for your comment. Yes, this is written from the perspective of the flowers as they see the destruction (the childs' feet) rushing down to crush them into nothingness simply because they can. Too often society deifies the innocence that is the creator of destruction. Different perspectives ...
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beautiful! short and sweet yet full of wonderful description. i love the sad words combined together to make something as outstanding as this! great job!
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Thank you for your comment. As mentioned elsewhere, this is not meant to be sweet, it is meant to be a thought provoking comment on societal acceptance of the thoughtless destruction of beauty as a right.
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loved it!
sweet and simple
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Thank you for your comment, although I think you may have missed my point as it is meant to be far removed from sweet or simple. My point is based in the acceptance of thoughtless destruction simply to enjoy a moment of abandon, regardless of age - it's too often allowed to occur without censorship.
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There is such a feeling of sadness and loss in this poem. You have wonderful word choices that hold great imagery. great job on this.
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Thank you for your comment, I appreciate it. Yes, there is sadness and loss at the way we allow others to spoil beauty simply because it might make someone happy. Happiness can come from just standing and observing the beauty, too often we don't think before doing.
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