I peered into the
misused toilet this morning.
I saw your face in its bottom,
peeking out from the
cave where goldfish
& love go out to sea.
I’ve always claimed to do
my best thinking on
the pot, but I never
thought poetry would erupt
as I sat knees bent,
praying & cleaning this
alter[ed].
It’s peculiar how bits
& phrases from dinner
get caught under the rim;
crusting comments
& brown-nosed compliments
that stick tongue & cheek
to its cold skin.
For weeks I’d close our lid
& let the yellow-bellied lies
mellow,
but the moment has mounted to
sanitize my sanity.
So I will continue to scrub
& scrape what‘s left behind,
the remnants
of your flowing shit,
smile in the shine,
& with a light-hearted finger,
flush away the wasted time.
Author notes
"27. tyro also tiro: A beginner in learning something."
- The Inner Circle group list • next in list
A contest entry
- favorites only by winterbound..
600 points, ended June 17, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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WoW you people in " the inner circle "
are so amazing and deep,
i am not sure if i fit in with such talent poets
this is such a great read. iloved it...
loveandblessings2u & yours always Joyce
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very unique! I love the format, how everything isn't perfectly lined up, it really adds to the texture of the poem. Awesome job, keep writing!
x
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peeking* line 4 (sorry im a nitpicker lol), very interesting take on life with this poem, i really liked it nice job very creative. Really loved the play on words throughout the poem, awesome!
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Wow... Uhmm thats all I can say.. besides... no thats all I can say.
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ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhha. i love it.
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oh wow that first line made me go WHAT!! hahaha poetry on the toilet that is weird but um oh fine i will admit it I do must best thinking on the prociline throne as well no shame in that I guess. Oh wow this is kinda getting nasty lol I am commenting as I read each line. Um wow glad i haven't eatin yet sound like a public restroom yucky! Now at the end and my mouth stands wide open at the horror and suprisingly damn good poetry that I just read. May be filth may be raunchy but hey you got my attention lol
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great write. i liked the relationship. great way to bring something so ordinary to life.
smile in the shine,
& with a light-hearted finger,
flush away the wasted time.
i love this part.... it leaves me with a sense of enpowerment. great write. -
I peered into the
misused toilet this morning.
I saw your face in its bottom,
peaking out from the
cave where goldfish
& love go out to sea."
Loved this part.
I really like how this is worded.
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wow how you could take a toilet and
make a poem that seemed to tell you exactly how a person feel is pretty neat and it was a good read and there is so much out there that we can use to relay our points. Thanks and keep writing.
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Hmmm, interesting how you put this into a relationship some nice poetic use of language involved here,enjoyed
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The fact that this is somehow beautiful is pretty disgusting. Yet, I enjoyed this thoroughly and came back for seconds. Perhaps it is the dog in me...
Excellent work
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hmmm...this was kind of gross...i'm not gonna lie...though very well written...you have a way with words...that's for sure! great write!
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Woah, pretty intense. I like your use of visuals here. Not so much as to overwhelm the poetry, but just enough to intensify the pics formed in the minds eye.
A person can read their own umm crap into it, but the theme of dissapointment no longer in denial or held in silence still rings clear. I think we can all relate to a little clean up such as this
The title promted the click and the poem did not disappoint. Great read. -
poop out stuff like this after a period of constipation again, and you might be worth forgiving for your inconsistent bowel movements. hahaha ♥
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I see your writer's block has been flushed away. lol
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damn.
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