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Her bitter memories

She dreamily thumbed
the lightly worn neckline of her blouse

her wilted skin
foreign beneath
probing hands

how long had it been since he's taken her?

She remember -
a vivid summer in their teens

     - pressed against the door
     his hot breath grazing her shoulder
     as she drowned in passion
     that excited, but surprised her.

But that,

was a long time ago.

 

 

 

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Comments


  • SpydurPoet gold member
    July 3

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    Wow. This is amazing. You do a fantastic job with emotion and imagery. I loved this. It is so forlorn, like a faded memory.
    Write on.
    ~*~SP~*~

  • K.
    June 25

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    I really like the section that is a bit more to the right. And the different numbres of lines in each section - the twolines appear again and again, but still, not in a rythm. And also the text itself is quite direct, if you dont mind me saying so. I find the title a bit too obvious, if you dont mind... I mean, I think the poem would be more powerfull if it was read and then the reader becomes surprised. Originally. Also, on the theme of my critisising the title. I also find the last two lines a bit too melancholic. One understands what is happening even without them. Have a vivid day!