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Forever...

Forever to walk this stairway,
 I could have moved on.
         But no
I had to stay,
 I wasn’t ready to let go of everything
I didn’t want to leave my family
       My little sisters,
         My older brother,
I put up a fight,
 Refusing to leave
So, God took no mercy-
 While handing out punishments,
I was forced to watch as
 My family grew old and died
         Without me.
I could have been happy-
 On the other side.
         But no-
Forever I must walk this stairway
 Alone, without comfort-
     And wonder what I could have had,
What I lost.

Author notes

I read the rules...
Written March 14th, 2004

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • ColdBlackAngel
    April 2, 2004
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    hella cool

    Youre an awesome writer. You have a great passion with the words. I really liked this! Keep writing, cause youve got talent girl!!
    Much love,
    Cals *ColdBlackAngel*
    Edited on Apr 02, 3:22 p.m. because ''.


  • Beauty Sleeps
    March 19, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    If I believed in ghosts, and thought that this picture was real, I think that's what the "ghost" would be trying to say... The subject itself isn't an original, but your words and the poem you created is. Great write. Good luck in the contest and keep it up!
    Kate


  • Marcy Anna
    March 18, 2004
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    Very intriging, I like the fact that you mentioned the passing of time as she watched her family die one by one. I particularly like to read free verse so it was a pleasure reading this poem. Great job and i hope to read more of your work.

  • KatIam
    March 17, 2004
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    I've only been on this site for a short while, but have been reading a lot of works. This one definitely brings across what I think most ghosts are trying to say to us....and yes, I believe in ghosts! We have one in our house, and know her well.
    You've done a wonderful job of bringing a glimpse of the world between life and death to view.......very nice piece!


  • stop drop and roll
    March 16, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I think that the beginning of your poem~Forever to walk this stairway,
    I could have moved on.
    But no
    I had to stay,
    I wasn’t ready to let go of everything
    I didn’t want to leave my family~ Summed up your entire thought perfectly! this poem is so sad. it made me want to cry because it is so touching. i understand who this person feels wanting to stay with those they love. It must have been so hard to watch everyone you know and love pass on while you stayed. this poem is very touching but in a learn from other people's mistakes kind of way. when its your time to go, let peace come and dont sticka round for other people, because they might not think abotu sticking around for you.~Daina


  • angelica silver member
    March 15, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Very intriguing concept of our ghost, what a sad ghost to walk the stairs for eternity. Wonderful poem Ember~good luck~angelica


  • March 15, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    thought your most intense and frightening lines were regarding having to watch "your" family grow old and leave "you" behind.
    best luck in the contest,
    ~liz


  • Maureen silver member
    March 14, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Very good interpretation of what the ghost might be thinking and feeling and seeing. It would be very sad to watch your family grow old and die and not be able to communicate with them, all the time wondering where you could have been, what you could have seen if you had just "let go" of earthly ties.
    Well done!

    Maureen


  • Blushfulmoon silver member
    March 14, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Nicely done
    I can see this the ghost trapped forever to walk the stairs
    I enjoyed this a lot
    Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest
    Nice to meet you also & oh btw come see me too
    Susan~~~

1 - 9 of 9