Caught in a whirlpool of harsh misunderstandings,
flexible oaths,
of soft and silky lies.
Cursed with the need to know,
to comprehend the incomprehensible,
I search.
Stuck in the middle of a sandstorm,
its crystals gouging out my eyes...
I can't close them.
Each truth I think I see
is no more a truth then the lie I believed yesterday...
Does it bring me closer to knowing me?
Author notes
I am trying to get out a writing block, haven't written anything worth reading in about a year. I welcome all and any critique, don't worry about sounding harsh.
A contest entry
- Writer's Block, Cycle 1 : Auditions by division.
550 points, ended May 26, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Title: 6/10
Content: 13/20
Originality: 20/20
Emotion: 8/10
Imagery: 10/10
Grammar: 10/10
Prompt: 20/20
Total: 87/100
Comments:
While this is a great start on a great poem, I think you should add more to it. I think there were some parts that were missing, that kind of left you hanging in the end. I do see potential in this poem, nonetheless. There is so much emotion hidden and I can't wait for you to rewrite it.
The title was good and I think you have great potential. Good grammar, as well. A plus in this competition. Good job and good luck! P.S. Could you change the font colors? There a little hard to read.
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