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Only love, Only hate

A fire is burning through my soul,
My broken heart joins, to form a whole.
My heart it beats a million miles a hour,
My mind at rest a calm, storm power.

My anger it boils, my whole world it shakes,
heart as hot glass, it shimmers and breaks
You disapoint me, enrage me, embrace,
Your love it shields me from my inner hate.

My heart has a melting point, without i am dead,
My head is exploding, this feeling of dread.
You are near me, can i hold my will?
Animal instinct, my love burns to kill.

My disgust and my secrets completly exposed,
My love and my treasure, my inner loath.
love twists to hate, dislike to abhorrence,
like rain it is falling, cloaking in torrents.

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Ami
    August 16

    Edit | Reply
    Great flow to this the rhyme is flawless I really liked this one gratz on the trophy that you have so far
    Thank you so much for entering my contest and Good luck
    -♥Amy♥


  • Toxic Meltdown
    July 23

    Edit | Reply
    Love love love it!
    Favorite lines:
    "My anger it boils, my whole world it shakes,
    heart as hot glass, it shimmers and breaks"
    I really liked that part. Nice write---rage and anger-filled. Really good. Thanks for your entry. And good luck!


  • Sharon Marie gold member
    July 17

    Edit | Reply

    very nice write

    i love how you say in your poem love only hate when your angry the world shakes
    My heart has a melting point without it is dead
    my head is exploding all i see is red

    A whole lotta emotions going on in there

    Your love shields me from my inner hate

    I had a bit of time time relating to your words looking at your poem from my side I see somewhat God posible but not sure But i do like the poem I believer these are some sort of struggle within yourself. Believe me we all ahve them your not alone. I hope to see more of your work I like to see you jump out from within theres a true poet within you I hear her voice crying to come out. keep penning@

     

    Blessing My dear

    sharon marie


  • ChunkyC
    June 2

    Edit | Reply
    Hmm. I feel this poem is weaker than the other I read. This poem is good, it just seems a little more immature than the other. Thanks for entering this though.

    Good luck in the contest :]