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Clueless






It's almost
like a brief walk in the sea:

        The way salty water
        splashes within eyes,
        or the bitter sickness
        thundering through the throat
        when swallowing it.

     (though that metaphor
      got lost in translation).

 

 

This perseverance of modern love
   muted my music,
       blurred the bright red

           of 3.28AM upon the nightstand
               and soaked the pillow
                   where I drown my dreams.


I'm too damn near parenthesis
but you don't have a clue anyway.

 

      (and I'm afraid to blink).





Author notes

Bitterness is taking over.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • PerfectImperfection
    June 3

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... I adore the angst in this, followed by such a powerful presence of longing made sullen in stance. Very well spun, though not as 'sweet' as the lyric prompt - we all take something different from that musical feel ... Well penned, a great write!


  • jcat gold member
    June 1

    Edit | Reply
    This is just beyond mere words!!! I am speechless....Truly this is just gorgeous!! The bitterness as well as the pain just grips the reader by the throat and refuses to let go!! I am in awe....


  • ladylyric
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    Bitterness...what a darkly familiar emotion. I hate to still see you in such a bad way, old friend, but whether you are writing poems of joy or poems of sorrow your talent and creativity blow me away. You are gifted in the way that your words seem to pour out of you so effortlessly. Hell, the rare occasions I even visit this site anymore is just to check in to see what beautiful works you have posted and I am never let down. My favorite part of this piece was the end line....(and I'm afraid to blink). I thought that was genius. I could go on forever about how great you are, but I feel I'm becoming a bit wordy!
    Lot's of Love to you
    Shannon Rose


  • Jessipotts
    May 25
    Edit | Reply
    really well written, even the way it is presented put across the feelings

  • OurxBeginning
    May 25

    Edit | Reply
    A very stark piece. I can feel the bitterness within the lines. I loved the reference of drowing in dreams, very unique. A short piece but you wrote it well. I really liked the format in this. Well done and thanks for sharing.


  • Poetic Tasha Moderators member
    May 24

    Edit | Reply
    Really like this lea, how you made the prompt work for you, even though you don't see it lovey or sweetness in it at all you took it and made something out of what you felt by telling me you've only ever known bitter goodbyes,
    thank you so much for entering I really love the way you write, and what comes out of it
    best of luck

    Tasha

1 - 6 of 6