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Naked Corpse

Deep down inside the rhythem of my thoughts,
I lay a naked corpse
All imperfections in full view
Like a whore shredding her clothes
My thoughts scream for attention.

Author notes

Ever felt like your thoughts and feelings are going unoticed, or worse, not cared about?

Honest opinions, please :)

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • jacbgd2 gold member
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    I like this piece!!!!!!!   I think I got the message correctly in this piece.... Sometimes I have thoughts I want to write down, but do not for various reasons... These thought I suppose I put away, lay down, subdue, repress, etc. such as you have relayed in this piece. But, mine like yours never die and from time to time they scream for that attention I refuse to give.... A very interesting and unique piece...  Also, I like short poems with huge messages!!!!!!!!
    Honestly, I really like it.
    J


  • Net
    June 4
    Edit | Reply
    Short and to the point. I can relate to this.

  • Lord Mathias
    June 1
    Edit | Reply
    Strait forward, to the point, raw, you feel every word.Exellent


  • Linaness
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    This is really open and makes me feel like you've just written something completely from the heart.

    I love the structure and how it's short but so deep and meaningful.

    Love your work.


  • I Start With Hello
    May 24
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful.

1 - 5 of 5