Like water it came,
perhaps like rain.
In trellises of dreams
that scatter across
the fading sun.
Never ebbing,
it ravages my heart
and my hands.
In tongues,
it pours from my lips
and onto the beach,
my stick etching the sand
before the next
stream of consciousness
washes it away.
Levies bulge and drip
to the murky swamp
that covers the thoughts
of golden poetry
beneath the clay and mud.
Past the canals
of frustrated distractions
comes the artists mighty wave,
It bounds us to question the night,
and all that we have done
before the dawn.
Like fire it came,
or perhaps just a spark.
The burning bush
moves further into
the abyss of the pines.
I fill my pockets
with wasted time,
to be spent on strangers
who would sooner extinguish
the progression of thought,
that the trees ,
are the forest.
Knowing full well
that our absence
from the wilderness
can never silence
the disappearing timber,
that falls to the ground,
in paper and hearth,
to hold and house,
the words of man.
A contest entry
- Show Me Who You Are by Sharon Lynn.
1750 points, ended September 13, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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This is a really good piece. I really do like how you wrote it. Keepu p your great work.
TwiztidMaggot -
The way I know that you are a genius is this:
Your poetry, no matter how often I read it, still makes me think in new and ever differing patterns
and it always brings a smile to my face.
Well written as always, Liam.
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Have I read this yet?
wow, it's just lovely.
I dont have anything to add to that, how sad am I?
love always,
jin -
wow amazing
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Wicked phrases
"I fill my pockets
with wasted time,
to be spent on strangers"
That is just so trick. The poem is full of good ones but this hits it on the head. Just getting to be familiar with your poetry and style. I like it
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Hey, Poe! Sorry I haven't been around to see your work much... but here I am. I can't say enough about your phrasing and structure.
Like water it came,
perhaps like rain.and
Like fire it came,
or perhaps just a spark.Are just well turned, witty phrases... the whole piece smacks of prophecies... part environmental and social in nature. You weave just perfect poems.
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good
I never fail tobe entranced by your offerings.
Great poem -
This is
Absouloutley beautiful!!!!!!!!!! I love this a lot really quality stuff. Id love to hear this in spoken poetry form. I'm sure spoken aloud is way more profound for this peice.
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Quite good
This poem should go on forever,a perfect poet's lament..
It plays the hearts strings and pulls the tears from my eyes... Excellent poem.
~Knowing full well
that our absence
from the wilderness
can never silence
the disappearing timber,
that falls to the ground,
in paper and hearth,
to hold and house,
the words of man.
~perfect ending...
Dave -
Wow, THIS is poetry. Simply brilliant.
Keep on writing, great poet!
Annie
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Awesome!!!
I fill my pockets
with wasted time,
to be spent on strangers
Great lines - well done!
-
stirring, deep
Lowell, it seems often that we have the same muse...
not surprising really. Your images and metaphors, your progression of thoughtflow like streaming conciousness, like time perhaps? and the minerals and gems, and perhaps pearls that they stir up; wonderful bits of insight and wisdom.
Few understand that it is not the cup but what fills it; that is what makes it precious.
Thank you for keeping us connected to the source, lowell,
I shall try to do the same... I shall try.
change of spelling here perhaps? absents~ absence
Waxless~Dave
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This was brilliant
You have many many wonderful images and a great sense of metaphorical use.
As nature would love the form of love you wrote here
and the fantasic usage of emotion.
BRAVO!
-damien -
Mother earth would love this!
Mother earth would love this poem! you heard her every cry and shared it through excellent imagery of the forests and trees. everyone living on the planet should read this and be moved to begin doing their share for the environment.
Just some finishing touches maybe:
1st line 2nd verse: In (a) trellises of dreams -> suggest to remove "a" to have "In trellises of dreams"
6th line 9th verse: that the trees , -> suggest to remove punctuation
Thank you for sharing!
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Very well written
I understand pockets full of wasted time spent on strangers. I've had a lifetime of such events. -
Fee verse - right? Hmmm.... I find it difficult to understand!!
maybe its just not my cup of tea - I tend to read it like unevenly written prose claiming to be poetry!
I fill my pockets
with wasted time, - lovely lines!!! -
This was wonderful and beautiful and honest, just as everything always seems to be from you. Fantastic, of course.
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Omg, this was absoloutly gorgeous!
Just flawless!
I loved how you spilled the words across the page with grace! Just simply beautiful!
I love the way you grab the readers attention from the beggining and hold them till the end..
excellent piece of work!
Mandi
-
Extremely enjoyed the metaphors used here. "my stick etching the sand before the next stream of consciousness
washes it away" was the first one that really hit me and that was extremely good.
-
I fill my pockets
with wasted time,
to be spent on strangers
who would sooner extinguish
the progression of thought,
that the trees ,
are the forest.
this and the verse after it left me in complete awe... wonderful poetry, beautiful, deep and thoughts provoking. Your imagery is unbelieveable.
Thanks for sharing been a while since I read for you.
Love
~Noor
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I fill my pockets
with wasted time,
to be spent on strangers
who would sooner extinguish
the progression of thought,
that the trees ,
are the forest.
that was simply put breathtaking. the description was just dead on wonderous! Again you bedazzle the mind better than 1990's white trash.....lol -
Loved This
A beautiful piece! The words just spilled across the page beautifully. Thank you for sharing. -
Powerful
Great write on writing . . .
I like the pacing of the poem but more important I love the use of water and fire as metaphors for the deal nature of inspiration. I love the mirroring in the poem.
My favorite part:
"Like fire it came,
or perhaps just a spark.
The burning bush
moves further into
the abyss of the pines.
"
My only suggestion: why not add more to the end when you are talking about fire and flashes of inspiration .. . it would help balance the poem a little more.
Besides that . .. amazing ... Thanks for sharing!
If you would like I just recently wrote a poem about the creative process . . . which can be found here: (http://allpoetry.com/poem/5452683)
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Superb Plus +
One of the best writes, I've read, in regards to the creative process. You expressed your thoughts quite well. Thanks for sharing.
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Liam...
You paint with exquisite strokes your images and thoughts.."In tongues it pours from my lips and onto the beach my stick etching the sand before the next stream of consciousness washes it away"...so many images you put on the canvas of our mind and eyes, and it so so magnificent! Love it!
write! 
-
Oh my Gosh...absolutely amazing...I'm totally stunned at this.
Nearly made my heart stop!
-
om
I felt my third eye bulge at the sound of your truth.
-
This poem is so good. I enjoy the meaning and think you are a great poet. I hope to be some day but it may not be allowed. Time will tell. I will add you as a favorite if thats ok.
Love, Sam
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Very good Liam~
The fact that I understood this from the beginning, made me love it even more...The words of man...I took it to being a poem...So many hints to what we feel, maybe something we've seen or felt ourselves...So awesome..
"Like fire it came,
or perhaps just a spark."
For whatever reason, hit me. I like that a lot.
"Knowing full well
that our absents
from the wilderness
can never silence
the disappearing timber,"
I AGREE BROTHER...AMEN!
This was very cool, I enjoyed this a lot brother~
PEACE BROTHER,
BRANDON
-
Again I say what I always say when reading your work. I'm left in awe. You have such a gift You always come with words that makes the reader stop and take stock of themselves and the world. you my friend are a master poet.
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beautiful Liam. [insert entire poem as my favourite here]
you always blow me away with your words.
I'm so glad you're back and writing.
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I fill my pockets
with wasted time,
to be spent on strangers
who would sooner extinguish
the progression of thought,
that the trees ,
are the forest.
Liam. Strong, clean-poignant, imagery is superb.
You're an enigma my love. Pure enigma. You're touching upon something powerfully personal, something from somewhere you've kept secure and guarded. Sharing it with the world shows maturity and acceptance. Not age so much as a way to think of this without flinching. Sometimes we cannot help ourselves, keep from creating art out of nothing. It's ingrained and fills the belly.
Excellent.
Love always,
jin
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The terrible price we pay as individuals and as a society to reach the heights we have.
"We rape the Earth and set fire to the sky...we stoop so low to reach so high"-Red Hill Mining Town.
It is the ravages of time and tide which temper our souls and allow us to part the veil of bullshit that many hide behind to avoid the reality many of us face.
In the Chamber of doors choose wisely, many doors are one way.
Those who do not create whether through fear of others opinions or their own always seem to wish to hold back the tide so others may not sail upon the waters of inspiration. A shame that so many trees have fallen to produce the dreck that is the majority of what is published.
Thanks for another thought provoker.
Peace
-
WOW
Breathtaking. Just phenomenal. I could read this over and over and never get tired of it.
"Stream of consciousness washes it away."
So so clever. I was so blown away by this write
~Tabitha
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Okay, WOW, just wow!
love, faith
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I'm still thinking about Bobby Sands and crew.
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Wow
You've done it again mate-pure poetry. Sticks and sands... your pen washes words, thoughts away...beautiful. I'm so glad that I found you. -c
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