last lesson

after thou-roughly wallowing in Basho, I came with a thud back to my final lesson for this class, Haikumonks poem that I rewrote for the precious lesson still was wandering around my mind. I started  to think about last months perigee moon, I had been out that night and braved the insects to walk down to my heavily wooded lake. It was almost like day, the moon hung huge and low over the dark flat lake
 
There are no lights from town way out here so it is a bit like being off shore on a boat at night, very dark and the stars, oh my God the Stars!! Unless there is a perigee moon. so close to the horizon line it takes your breath away. That night when I scrambled out to the rock breakwater I lost my breath.When I looked into the water, my face reflected as pale s the moon, framed by dark skies it was almost like I was the moon looking back at me, adjusting my vision the moons slipped apart and as I gazed down into the water it was as if we had been twinned the moon and I, stunning as this vision was, it was my first glimpse at me,older,paler and somehow, hanging there floating in the water that I have through many mutations been trying to express this is my humble result.   

 
to break it down, this is basically a pivot, both images reflected on the waters canvass. I had toyed with using "the full spring moon" to make it a phrase and fragment, but I returned to my original wording.
the poem breaks down as 

 to recap

 

* clear images - I think so no word play

* a juxtaposition - my pale round face and the full moons pale face

 

* fragment and phrase, or phrase and fragment, or pivot -hrase adn fragment  and a lame pivot
* aha moment - ah ha that is not the moon it is me I see

* resonance in the nouns chosen- only one luminous image like the moon
* plain language - again small simple words working together to produce   two separate images, sorry got carried away with my prose perhaps my first haibun??? think