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old pain + present happiness= neutral feelings

smiling hurts
crying gets old
i forgot that pain
i forgot that pain
happiness is a choice i decided

i chose it.

smile spreading slowly
as i remember that face
stare blankly
he asks
i say
i wasnt staring at you,
for once in my life
i wasnt staring at you,

broken smiles
visible in the midst of our deaths
my life is fine
my life is fine
no one can break me
im fine,
happiness is a choice
remember his face
think of her letter
wonder at his words
memorize her actions
pretending
he was right.
masks dont help anyone
ive torn mine off
dirtied it in the mud
my reality
im happy.

i wasnt staring at you, boy
thinking of the past
& wondering why i loved it so much
my present
is what i bathe in
stare blankly
my life is fine
my present
its what i bathe in,
happiness is a choice, love
and ill be damned if i didnt chose it

Author notes

letters cant tear me down anymore
memories cant lift me up
his words are my comfort
her actions are pointless
his face......

ahah, an extended poem in my authors notess,
lol. u guys wont guess this one.
btw, erin, the only reference to ryan in this poem is this::
stare blankly
he asks
i say
i wasnt staring at you,
for once in my life
i wasnt staring at you,

&&

pretending
he was right.
masks dont help anyone

&&

i wasnt staring at you, boy

thats it no reference to how much i hate/love/wannahug/wannakill him.
just references about him giving facts,
the rest is a mystery,
CLARE DONT SAY A WORD. i know you know who it is.........

A contest entry

its been a long time since i could lable a poem under the category of happiness........

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