I cast a song into the air
One midnight, on the barren strand;
Beside the ocean's surging lair,
I cast a song into the air
That swift across the moon did flare,
Above the wave-washed silver sand -
I cast a song into the air
One midnight, on the barren strand:
I lingered in the stillness there
And cast a song into the air
As if its melody could tear
The stars from heaven's opal band -
I cast a song into the air
One midnight, on the barren strand.
Author notes
another triolet sonnet. . .do tell me if you think it needs any revision. . .
A contest entry
- NO RULES--PREWRITES ALLOWED by No Quarter.
550 points, ended July 10, 32 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold And Silver Trophy Poems! by MJ Forgives.
700 points, ended November 14, 204 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
what dost thou think. . .
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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This is so lovely and lyrical, and really captures the experience of being at the ocean at night.
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i love sonnets, and this is one of the best ive read on this website. great imagery here, and wonderful choice of words.
"I lingered in the stillness there
And cast a song into the air
As if its melody could tear
The stars from heaven's opal band "
beautiful. thanks for entering and good luck -
what a beautiful poem. Well picked language and beautiful imagery. I must confess my admiration since it's just the style I attempt to write but with a little more elegance.
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Thanks!
I'm pleased. . . 
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This is such a pleasant poem. The troilet form make for such a light air about it. Fantastic diction and enjambment. , Dannie
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heh heh, thanks. . .
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"The wave-washed silver sand" WOW!!!!!!!!!!! What a delicious poem!
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I wouldn't change a thing. You have composed a beautiful flowing poem. Well done poet
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I really like this! Each line has the perfect syllable count and rhythm. Making a Triolet into a sonnet isn’t easy as the form by structure is redundant but you made it look easy and the repetition is barely noticed do to your perfect flow and image.
Love,
Amera♥
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Gee Whiz!
I'm friggin' envious. What a romantic use of repetition that creates very vivid images and helps to emote some wonderful ideas.
In other words, I heartily approve.
How do you do it?
Good rhyme and rhythm.
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Oh, this is quite a lyric and most stunning piece of poetry here! Have you "invented" this form??? Again, an absolutely enchanting write!
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thanks very much, Mike. . .
No, I didn't invent it - I think it was Ceridwens Soul who wrote one which I read and really liked the form of. . .
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