I can't feel. Something takes my emotions and invades them, leaving them anaethized and crushed up into little pills of pathetic. In your arms, I am in heavens gates your smile, is St. Peter's smile, pathing me to the golden steps of purity.
I never asked to be blessed with such illusions as your angel face; you are divinity at it's best and I swear God's angels pine for your return - but your mine; or at least I thought so.
I love closing my eyes and feeling your lips against my smooth skin, contacting stars and moons how they are meant to be. I could never downplay the sparkle you bring into my eyes and any fool with a soul could see you help me survive. I feel the whispers in the wind, are like your breath across my neck and I'm begging to surrender again, to your otherworldly scent.
I'm fixated on you - feed me my drug, before I become unhinged.
Those words, 'I will always. . .' always did cut my skin like hydodermic needles. Mother always told me that your virginity was like a balloon, one prick and it's all gone - but I think love is like a rose blowing in the wind, so frightened to fall apart when the summer ends.
I sit here writing insecurities and questioning whether you should read this, whether you're worthy. I never questioned your sincerity until now and I fear what my overactive brain will find--my mind always hated my heart for being foolish and my heart always loathed my mind for being a cynic.
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Do you remember the first time I kissed you? I closed my eyes and inhaled your aftershave and listened to the angels giving me their blessing. Our lips touched and current ran through my fingertips, surging into your hips and I felt we were connected and that's where my nickname for you came about; my fusebox.
I asked my friends what they thought of you the first time they met you and all they could say was 'rainbow'. I didn't understand until they told me without you my eyes were gray and void and when I saw you they lit up with every shade of the rainbow--each paved in yards of love.
Why wont you lock your lips to me since the last time, where your mother broke her boundaries and blasphemed my name? I don't understand, why wont you hold me again?
You still whisper words of love on the phone, but it's not the same sentiments as before, more inane. Several chances to visit, but you have found ways to get yourself out--I told you we needed to sit down, spend some time together and put the sun back into eachothers hearts. But we never did and I don't know if we ever will. This is drowning me inside and if I had enough strength, I'd cry for you.
I always knew that love could leave you falling, but I never knew amores sweet caress could bring bloodstains to the soul, I would've prefered a physical inject.
Free me or let me know; what is it you want?
Author notes
sorry it's miserable
i'm miserable too.
go figure.
M i d n i g h t - x - R o s e
In a list
A contest entry
- prewrites. by dieu..
601 points, ended July 6, 184 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
.
Comments
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Hm. Not sure this is as not long as I wanted. That's not a problem.
Very nice. I liked it. Similarly to another poem in the contest, there was one part of this that made me more sad than the rest. Thanks.
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"Do you remember the first time I kissed you? I closed my eyes and inhaled your aftershave and listened to the angels giving me their blessing. Our lips touched and current ran through my fingertips, surging into your hips and I felt we were connected and that's where my nickname for you came about; my fusebox."
incredible...
simply beautiful. wonderful write -
'I asked my friends what they thought of you the first time they met you and all they could say was 'rainbow'. I didn't understand until they told me without you my eyes were gray and void and when I saw you they lit up with every shade of the rainbow--each paved in yards of love.' - - - I love this part. It's amazing though, how truly one person can change someone fully and completley. It really interests me and I like how this stanza represents that.
'Why wont you lock your lips to me since the last time, where your mother broke her boundaries and blasphemed my name? I don't understand, why wont you hold me again? ' - - - So painful.
Amazing write.
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This is so incredible, truly heartbreaking and beautiful. It's a shame that you are not happy, I hope that this stage will pass for you. What amazing prose you have written, and thank you for sharing.
--Katie.
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