He looked upon my sister.
She looked back through eyes
through which she'd never seen before.
He looked upon my mother.
She rose and bowed tohim
As she stood upon the floor.
He looked upon my father.
He flushed and waved a hand
Where a stump had been for years.
He looked upon my brother
He smiled and danced, singing,
as he wiped away his tears.
Caladrius looked upon me
and quickly looked away
as he turned and flew to the sun.
Author notes
It needs a lot of editing.
Caladrius is a mythical bird that could heal people by looking at them, taking their disease into itself, and flying to the sun to remove the disease from its body. if it looked away from somebody, however, they would die.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
this is a really cool idea, but yeh, i agree with the other commenter, it needs more detail and observation, but there is definately potential for a really great poem here!!!
-
Maybe a little more detail in the poem, especially why Caladrius would look at your family members and heal their disease but then leave you out in the cold and look away, therefore causing your death. All in all, this is a really neat idea. I like it. Great job.
Adding your comment:
