suicidal thoughts(for a contest)

To you:

Forgive me, for I am not perfect. This life that has been giving to me I no longer cherish. The pain is too great, and the memories are breaking me. They are shattering my every whim. I cannot seem to grasp this concept that you call hope. Happiness and joy died many years ago and I will never be in that time and in that space again. These thoughts that linger in my head twirl like a tornado destroying all that is surrounding them, including my sanity. I feel I am beginning to slip from reality. The numbness is starting to settle in and I losing all feeling. Although I may be slightly numb now I still feel the pain from the past. I don’t know how it has come to this, but I feel it is time to let go. I am not jumping, or cutting, ill go my own path for once. I believe I’ll drown in these tears you gave me. I'll finally be at peace, knowing that i satisfied you, with out pain and grief... I am finally free from this hell that they call LOVE!