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Scratch The Outside Surface

Could I ever ask
    For something I don't think I deserve

Could I ever think to need
    Your Love for myself...
Instead I bleed...

And where do we turn from here...

Could You ever see me
    Through this dark I feel all around

Could You ever love me
    The way I've needed for so long...
Underground, can't you see?...

In which the loneliness downs another beer...


Author notes

Inspired.

Out of the Walls...

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • VampireShadow
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    What inspired this? I rather like it...even though it is sad. lol. But aren't those the best sometimes? That's all I can write, anyway. No happy for Jess, it fails.

    And ah, more rambling.

    Anyway. I need to read more of your poetry. And you need to write more, so I can read it.

    I adore you Hun. I hope...Idk. I'll tell you later.

    But if you need someone to share that beer with you. You've got a Jess. Not planning on going anywhere for a while.

    Your surface has been scratched. You show me yours, I'll show you mine. Let's see how far this takes us.

    <3

    [[I want to say it...but I don't know if it's real. And the fact that it could be scares me more than if it's not.]]


  • xPink-Lotusx
    June 4
    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    What a beautiful write. The emotion in this is strong. I love how it flows from stanza to stanza without having to have any consistent rhyme or flow scheme. This piece had a sadness that projected off the page so strongly I could feel it. Well written Homie. Seems to me like you are just barely scratching the surface of this truly wonderful piece. Bravo, Write on!


  • mysterious.angel
    May 21
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is honestly not waht i expected nevertheless still a great great write good job


    • JePeTto
      May 21
      Edit | Reply
      What exactly where you expecting?
      o.o

      It's still just barely scratching the surface.


      • mysterious.angel
        May 21
        Edit | Reply
        unsure really i guess i was expecting something a bout scratching

        • JePeTto
          May 21
          Edit | Reply
          Oh well yea, a bit personal here, but yea, that's a good Idea, I might as well make something about that on here.

          Thanks for the idea though, I'll let you know when I post it up.
          =]


          • mysterious.angel
            May 21
            Edit | Reply
            ummm im sorry didnt meant to upset you it just wasnt what i expected

            • JePeTto
              May 21
              Edit | Reply
              Haha, no sweat, Really. I wasn't upset at all, I just had the mindset that I was scratching the surface of me through poetry and Couldn't look at it differently.
              And no, I appreciate it, Thank you, I was just curious a lil bit.

              Much Love

1 - 8 of 8