Through the cold we step,
on that late Decembers night,
the movie over,
the parking lot empty.
We both walk in unison,
side by side.
Our hands are swinging,
reenacting pendulums,
back and forth they go.
I work up the courage,
to reach out far,
far into the dark.
The space between us,
seems to be miles.
And I grab your hand,
smooth and soft,
our fingers interlock,
almost premade this way.
My hand was cold,
but you didn't pull back,
you didn't turn away.
You pulled me close,
and never looked away.
Oh the euphoria of it!
That all time high!
You drove the cold,
oh, so very far away.
A contest entry
- Make me want to fall in love by Spiritual Soul.
1200 points, ended May 28, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lots of Options. :) Come check it out! by FightOffYourDemons.
400 points, ended September 4, 21 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Unique Love Stories by pinksnowboots.
1050 points, ended June 2, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES!!! BRING 'EM ON IN!!! by XxLoverOfDarknessxX.
550 points, ended June 27, 107 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
i liked this alot.
it was really good! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
-
Ok Not even these three words can explain it, i Love it
-
No AN but I will let it slide. I like this poem it is very sweet. It has a lot of good imagery and a really good flow.
the short lines really work for this poem it keeps the beat and excitement up. and the lack of stanzas works as well but only because the poem is not any longer. Usually I do rather stanzas because they give a poem more structure but considering the topic of your poem a lack of structure kinda works.
the last line though does leave something to be desired. "You drove the cold,
oh, so very far away." doesn't seem to fit with the rest of them poem something about the way it sounds. I can't put my finger on it.
Thanks for the entry and good luc -
I love the ending, Love not only warms our hearts but everything else as well. Beautiful write of a lovely moment in time. Thanks for entering my contest!
Blessings,
~Michaela~
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