Sometimes I Hear You Laughing.

I run my hand along the side
of your favorite leather chair
wiping the dust on my dress,
and watching it float through the air.

I bite my lip, and
I look at the door,
trying not to face the pictures
scattered across the floor.

You linger in my thoughts
In my presence, and my dreams
You're what fuels my tears,
My sighs, my hopes, my screams.

Yesterday I turned around,
I really thought you were there
I looked all over, finally turned back,
And told myself I didn't care.

There's times I swear I feel you
Or your warm breath on my neck.
Sometimes I hear you laughing
When I smoke out on the deck

And I can still tell anyone
How many colors were in your eyes
Or recite every second
Of every moment that passed by.

But they'd just tell me,
Move on.
And I'd laugh and say I had
Than go home and convince myself
With some whiskey and a bath

I remember when I first drank whiskey
You laughed and held me tight
And even though I looked like shit
You said I looked beautiful that night.

But tonight I'll just lie here,
And I'll dream of you.
I'll say the things that I  always wanted to.
I'll tell you that you lied,
That You promised me you'd stay,
I'll break down and cry,
'how dare you leave me that way'.
I'll say it wasn't fair,
and that I still don't understand,
that I cry every night
And You'll just smile like you used to
saying, 'take my hand, it'll be alright.'

And In the morning when they find me
with the whiskey and the pills,
They'll know exactly what happened tonight
And say that heartbreak kills.

They'll gently take the picture of you
that I'll hold tight to my chest
and recall the night you left this world
the sheriff remembering best.
he'll clear his throat and look around,
'shes been dead awhile.'
'but she must've died happy,' the deputy says.
'God, just look at that smile.'