last red maple leaf
departs on an autumn’s breeze
I follow it home
Author notes
Form; Japanese Traditional
My Zen Poetry
In a list
A contest entry
- Haiku by Basho - Think you can be this beautiful... by Cannonsfire.
6500 points, ended June 3, 47 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - YOUR GOLD WINNING HAIKUS by Swan song.
700 points, ended August 28, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 38 of 38
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This is quite good, loved the connection (so well done) between the lines. Clear imagery though and a lovely one by the way
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this one was a zen moment for me when I wrote it
thanks bunches
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very very good I enjoyed that last line in a big way thank you for entering
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Absolute love. Falling leaves are hard to follow, and sometimes the path home seems twisted and difficult, too.
Excellent! Best wishes in the contest, and congrats on your previous gold! Well deserved!
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and I followed you...
stunning.
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Wonderful - congrats. Frans
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Thank you Frans
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Very beautiful. Congratulations on the Gold.
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This is all I can do for this amazing piece:
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thank you sweetie
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MMM....simple and beautiful, and a might bit chilling.
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as it should be...thanks for your comment and clappie
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me too
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id follow your hiny anywhere...
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sigh.
love, lane
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if you ever get the hang of this form...
look out Basho!
for ya
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I like it! Whilst I do question whether you need (or ought to have) a direct reference to autumn and a direct reference to self, this has exactly the right feeling of transience.
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Hi Mairi... I have written hundreds of haiku/senryu...for purpose of identification on this site and my list I give them names in [ ] i have a book pending with these little wonders
as for the refererence of self... "I" is not forbidden, some of the best Haiku ive read have used self identification
thanks for commenting mairi
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... and what's more important, it satisfied the setter.
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I speak as I find. It's still a guid wee poem, despite my observations.
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A sweet aha moment.
Well-expressed.
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Exellent in form and depth, very strong.
Be blessed in all you do.
Tony
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thank you for stopping by tony
and for your wonderful comment and applause
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Excellent! You always amaze me with your thoughts especially when it comes to writing haiku. so simple yet the impact and the image you portrayed through your simple wordings makes the readers to say "OH"
It is a shame for me for not appreciating much of haiku.
Once again thanks for sharing...心から愛をこめて...小百合
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lotus flower... I am american and love the japanese forms of poetry
you are japanese and love my poetry
I see the beauty of it,
and of you
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another haiku to make me smile....
I just love the image you have written here. This is truly beautiful haiku.
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thank you so much Knight...I felt this when I wrote it
truly
thanks for commenting and applause
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Beautiful piece. Autumn is my favorite season. Great job, sweetie.
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but ohhh~
summer with ocean waves
warm sand
you on a blanket
could be a favorite of mine
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hhhmmmm....
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excellent
Love the images provided by your words in this haiku. I am left seeing this bare tree and you following this one last beautiful leaf.
Very effective word usage my friend.
Good luck in this contest!
Jeannette
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thanks so much jeanette...
I have grown fond to the modern form haiku
traditional haiku is not easy
and to me this haiku is something inspired by basho's writings
a mentor
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nice
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yes I am
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very nice. Inspires:
I follow the leaf
both pushed by autumn breezes
until stillness falls
buddy
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yes..
I follow it home
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Shape!! yes and thank you C
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no-- thank you... for inspiring this...
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