semi-cynical.

semi-cynical.

i.


i used to kill you under my fingernails; filled them up with blood &
other useless tissues. i loved to chock them up full of vitamin e and
little pieces of your eyes, nostrils and benzocaine lips.

ii.

you never came off easily,

in fact you were more of a stain; that clouded every good memory i ever conjured up, that rolled over my eyeballs and blinded me so black.


silly blauaugigen jungen,


i was never yours to keep.

iii.


and i can't forget the nightmares,


"once you --"
the ones i always knew that you'd authored;


"--have me""
but i'll remember the dreams you sweetened with memoirs of your affection,


"you'll always come back." a smile that burned from inside.

and the taste and forever stinging of your saccharine kisses.





i never wanted to be the one to win you.



iv.


you were never someone i wanted to lose;

even now, as i cant wash the crimson gloss from my fingers, killing you from my memoires always brought me pain, as did scrapping you from my heart, each shit filled love letter at a time.



you were never my darling though you should have been.